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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Managing Expectations

Another day, another study about working moms and stay-at-home moms.

***Sigh***

For your reference, here you go http://www.washington.edu/news/articles/lesdepression-for-working-moms-who-expect-that-they-2018can2019t-do-it-all2019

This study suggest that moms who work outside the home are less depressed than their stay-at-home counterparts. However, that's only true when working moms don't take on the I-am-supermom-and-can-do-it-all-perfectly attitude.

In a nutshell, working moms need to chill. No mom ever picked raising a family while managing a career because it is the path of least resistance. It's hard. Dang hard. And we all need to realize that some things may need to slide in order to maintain our sanity.

It all boils down to priorities and attitudes for working moms. Choose your priorities both at home and at the office, get a positive attitude about your choices, and forget the rest.

Pardon me for stepping on my soapbox, but I am weary of women who whine about the need to work outside the home to help financially support their families.

Get. Over. It!

It is not the opportunities and challenges that present themselves in our lives that define us; rather, it is the way we choose to respond to those opportunities and challenges that reveal our true character. Great blessings are in store for us when we embrace opportunities and challenges rather than throw ourselves a pity party because "life is hard."

I can't tell you how many times I've been blasted out of my comfort zone in the workplace. And you know what? Those experiences have made me a stronger and more determined person. That tenacity has been helpful during the last few weeks as I've learned to deal with my father's illness.

I don't write these words to diminish stay-at-home moms. The above-mentioned article states there is truth to the adage "Stay-at-home moms have the hardest job in the world."

My hat is off to you ladies who are in the trenches on the homefront 24/7. I value the stay-at-home moms who take on the roles of school and community volunteers. I appreciate their watchful eyes and kinds words towards my own children.

And truly, I'm not so worried if working moms or stay-at-home-moms are more or less depressed than the other. I'm concerned that moms are depressed.

Life is about managing expectations. Don't set the bar so high that you can never achieve your goals.

5 comments:

Alice Wills Gold said...

I love reading your blog and viewing your perspective.

I have worked part time and been a mom and I don't think it's any harder than not working part time and being a mom.

I think it's funny that stay-home moms think that they have it harder and working moms think that they have it harder.

I just think it is plain hard, no matter if you work outside the home or not.

Everyone needs to let go of the super mom attitude.

I have many friends who are working moms because they say they just couldn't handle being home with their kids and I think that if they went to work just to avoid being with their kids that is a crying shame because they forsook the growth they could have had otherwise. I have grown so much being a stay home mom; I am a completely different mom then I used to be, but I am sure I could have said the same if I was a working mom too.

Job Outsourcing said...

Working at home at the same time managing a family is hard for women. What's worst in my part is that I have to work away from home, and give less supervision for my kids. But the despite the fact that I have to sacrifice my time for my kids, still I'm having this outlook in life, that I have to be happy with what I'm doing, after all, I'm doing this for my kids. I guess, that's just how manage it.

:-) Jane

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JennyLynn said...

I just got blasted out of my comfort zone at work. Think it is an amazing blessing for me. Love that I happened onto your blog. Very inspiring. I do think moms are more depressed these days. They can't seem to be happy in the moment at all. Each day as I drive my children to school. I make note of all those frowny faces dropping of their sweet children. I am blessed enough to work at an elementary school. Where I get to smile and wave at moms dropping off their children each morning. Love seeing them smile and wave back.

TravAndAimee said...

I soooo needed to hear this! I saw a comment on FB the other day that said, "I need to get a job! Being a stay at home mom is WAY harder than being a working mom!" Are you kidding me? How can someone compare the two when they are totally different! How about just leaving it at being a MOM is the hardest job in the world whether your "office" is at home or away!:)

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