Mom Means Business

Life is One Indivisible Whole

2012-01-22T21:00:00.001-08:00

One day while driving around on my lunch break last week, I heard this quote. For many reasons, I found it quite profound and timely.

“One man cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied in doing wrong in any other departments. Life is one indivisible whole.”--Ghandi

Flexible Workplaces

2012-01-18T09:23:00.000-08:00

I came across a great article on work/life balance and flexible workplaces in Utah in yesterday's Deseret News.

Enjoy!

Book Review: Crossing Stones

2012-01-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

Crossing Stones, by Helen Frost, is a historical fiction novel that follows the lives of two families for nine months during World War I. The Jorgensens and the Normans live in a rural community named Crabapple Creek. Between the two families, they have five children all under the age of 18.

The story is told through the eyes of the children in a poetry format that I found cumbersome to follow.

Two of the sons, one from each family, enlist in the service. One boy dies in battle, and the other loses an arm...returning home disillusioned and haunted by the experiences he had in Europe.

Depressing.

I don’t need any fictional sadness in my life right now. I have the real deal going on as I continue to work through the grief of my father's death.

But this book was not a total waste of time. The author included a storyline of a teenage girl traveling to Washington D.C to visit her aunt. While there, the girl becomes involved in the women’s suffrage movement.

How did I live this long and not know women were publicly harassed and harshly thrown in jail as they picketed the White House for the right to vote? It was incredibly eye opening for me.

On January 10, 1918 the House of Representatives passed the 19th Amendment. The Amendment was signed into law, granting women the right to vote, on August 26, 1920.

American women have had the right to vote for less than 100 years. It’s most definitely something we should not take for granted.

Along those same lines…

Last week my 10 year-old asked me about the Martin Luther King Jr Day holiday.

She asked, “Is Martin Luther King the man who helped the black people?”

I took a couple of minutes to explain Dr. King fought for the civil liberties of all minorities, including women. I want my girls to understand they are fortunate to live in a time and place that treats women and girls fairly.

Wednesday evening I was talking to the girls about their day at school. Lauren said her teacher talked to the students about MLK Day and how he helped black people.

Lauren raised her hand and told the entire class Dr. King also helped women have more rights.

A big smile crossed my face and I asked her, “And what did your teacher say?”

“My teacher said ‘That’s right Lauren.’”

(Proud mommy moment!)

I'm grateful to the women and men who have paved the way for the privileges and opportunties I have not only for myself, but also for my daughters.

Back On Topic

2012-01-07T20:43:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon a great online article the other day in Credit Union Magazine titled “The Myth of Work/Life Balance.” Just in case you misplaced your copy of this must-read publication, here’s a link.

It was like the very corners of my world coming together in one. I’m employed in credit union management and I just so happen to write a personal blog about work/life balance. What are the chances???

Best selling author Jon Gordon compares the rhythms of work and life to the rhythms of nature…there is a time and season for everything.

(Hmmm…where have I heard that before? Oh yes, The Holy Bible Ecclesiastes 3:1 "For everything there is a season, and time to every purpose under heaven.")

Gordon gives advice for rethinking the concept of work/life balance and finding passion and purpose in both arenas. His recommendations:

1) First, let go of the work/life balance notion. Instead, think purpose and passion.

Diana’s Comments: Knowing my life’s purpose keeps me grounded and focused. And if I didn’t love what I do, both at home and the office, I wouldn’t do it. My dad used to tell me “Life is too short to spend it doing something you don’t enjoy.”

2) Look at your work/life blend over the past year as a whole, rather than day to day.

Diana’s Comments: Let’s face it. Some days we’re super mom, and other days we’re pretty sure DCFS is going to come knocking on our door. But if take a look back at the last 365 days, you’ll probably find that you’re doing a pretty darn good job with the kiddos and spouse.

3) Identify the seasons in your company’s work flow.

Diana’s Comments: Prep your family if it’s going to be a busy week at the office. And then plan something fun when it’s over. “Mom’s got a crazy week, but if you can do your part to help me get through it then we’ll go out to a celebration dinner on Friday night.”

4) Keep in mind your family’s seasons too. There are times when your family needs you more than others.

Diana’s Comments: The recent holidays were that time for me. Between the two girls, there were 8 choir performances to attend…plus rehearsals. Throw in school activities…an All-Star presentation, Christmas program and meeting with the speech teacher. Not to mention a birthday…on the same day as Christmas!

5) Build up a hard work bank account with your company.

Diana’s comments: I received tremendous support from my supervisors and colleagues during the weeks my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, his 5-week hospital stay, passing and funeral. My co-workers were understanding, supportive and compassionate. I believe a 7+ year track record of hard work and loyalty to my company were indeed paid back to me during that time.

6) When you’re at work, really engage.

Diana’s comments: Work can also be a great escape from personal worries and stress. Leave them at the door when you walk into the office. Give your employer 100%!

7) When you’re at home, really BE at home.

Diana’s comments: I really try to avoid coming home and re-hashing the work day with my spouse. I need a break, and we have better things to talk about.

One last quote by Gordon:

“What I’m really talking about is making the most of your time however you spend it – of making each and every moment count. By doing so, you will create a life that is more passionate, more productive, and happier in every way.”

Great advice. Love it!

Book Review: The Glass Castle

2011-12-16T21:13:00.000-08:00

I’ve seen extreme poverty. I’ve traveled throughout Mexico, lived in Argentina, and visited Peru. I’ve sat in the humblest of homes without electricity and/or running water. I’ve watched women wash their family’s clothing in a muddy river and cook family meals over an open fire. I’ve walked streets with children playing near open sewers. I’ve seen people wear the same thread-bare clothes day in and day out, with no shoes.

So when I read the true-life story of Jeannette Walls in The Glass Castle, the descriptions of poverty were not shocking to me. It was reading about neglectful, inattentive and selfish parents I found disturbing.

Jeannette’s parents, Rex and Rose Mary Walls, claimed to love their children but did very little in providing guidance or supervision…let alone the necessities of life such a food, shelter and clothing. More times than I can count, the father lost his job. And the mother, who had a college education, could not be bothered to work with rare exceptions. What money they had was spent on alcohol, art supplies and frivolous items. And the parents refused to accept any government or community assistance…even as their children were digging through the school garbage to find scraps of food.

Although the author never directly makes the statement, it’s apparent her parents were mentally ill. The children do the best they can to manage the household and essentially learn to survive in incredibly difficult circumstances.

In the end, the children rise above their upbringing. The author leaves her parents at age 17, and goes on to graduate from college and have a successful career.

I wouldn’t go so far to say it’s a heart-warming story, but it inspiring in a manner. As the author’s sibling put it after reaching adulthood, “It’s really not that hard to put food on the table if that’s what you decide to do.” The book was a reminder that immaterial things such as determination and dreams can’t be taken away from someone.

I recommend Half Broke Horses by the same author before reading The Glass Castle (my review for Half Broke Horses can be found here). It will help set the stage for some of the craziness to come.

Book Review: The Alchemist

2011-12-04T20:40:00.000-08:00

I acquired The Alchemist by Paul Coelho at the Mountain Green Book Group book exchange in November. My neighbor told me she had read it many times and was one of her favorites. I asked her if it was sad or depressing, because heaven knows I don't need anything else to put me in a somber mood these days. She assured me the book would lift my spirits.

I've been reading many years, and until now I've never found a book that after I finished it, I wanted to immediately start over on page one. The Alchemist was incredibly inspiring...a wondeful metaphor for life.

This is a story of a young shepherd named Santiago who chooses to leave a simple, comfortable life in search of treasure. Along the journey, he encounters various people who guide him, deceive him, teach him, protect him, and love him.

A watered-down definition of an "alchemist" is a person who can turn ordinary base metals into gold through an intense refining process. So it is with the young man Santiago. In his treasure-seeking expedition he opens his mind, heart and soul to the experiences along the way.

As Santiago overcomes obstacles, disappointments and pain, he comes to know his personal calling as a human being on this earth. His journey allows him to become a stronger, more wise individual. Along the way he achieves greater satisfaction, gains deeper knowledge and experiences more meaningful love.

One of the things that I truly appreciated about Santiago is he takes time to meditate and reflect on his experiences. Rather than wallow in self-pity and bitterness, he turns trials into opportunities for growth and achievement.

I needed this wonderful story to remind me right now that life is a journey with a purpose. In our journey, we experience both joy and sorrow. And while we seek for those people and experiences that make bring us happiness, it is often the difficulties allowing us to learn the most about our own personal calling.

Book Review: Half Broke Horses

2011-11-17T20:46:00.000-08:00

While others have been occupying Wall Street, I’ve been occupying my mind with Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls. Described by the author as a true-life novel, the book is about an amazing woman named Lily Casey Smith born in 1901.

Imagine Little House on the Prairie on steroids. And that’s putting it mildly.

Lily takes you through her childhood in the West Texas desert where she learned to break and train horses at age five. She spent her teenage years in New Mexico, and at age 15 she became a teacher in a one-room school house 500 miles her parents’ ranch. It took her 28 days traveling on horseback, by herself, to get to her new job and home.

After spending some time learning important life lessons in Chicago as a young adult, she returned to the west and ended up in Arizona. Her passions in life were teaching and ranching. Lily was fearless and tougher than any cowboy around.

Along the way she gets married and has a couple of kids. But don’t get any ideas…this isn’t a love story. If you’re looking for romance, find a different book. She respects her husband and is loyal to him, but I couldn’t figure out if they were truly in-love. Lily tended not to trust men.

(Side note: Lily’s husband was a Jack Mormon born into a very large polygamist family. And Lily herself took a job for a year on the Arizona strip teaching the children of polygamist families. I’ve read several books about polygamy in that area…all written from the points of view of the polygamists themselves. It was interesting to get an outsider’s perspective.)

Lily wasn’t much for compassion or tolerance…didn’t have time for any sort of political correctness or worrying about offending people. She could get a grasp on most any situation, except her wild and head-in-the-clouds daughter Rosemary. (Being the mother of two girls, reading this story made me a little nervous.) I learned at book club last night that Rosemary is the main character in another book, The Glass Castle, by the same author. (Now on reserve for me at the library.)

I thoroughly enjoyed Half Broke Horses. It’s a book full of humorous and life-is-what-you-make-it stories. Lily Casey Smith was one tough broad. I like her.

The Gateway We Call Death

2011-11-13T20:03:00.000-08:00

It may not come as a huge surprise that I have been reading books about death and grief. My wonderful father passed away after a brief, unexpected illness on September 11, 2011 at the age of 65.

The past three months have been the most difficult of my life. As a result, I have sought professional grief counseling as well as personal study to help me better understand and deal with the complex set of emotions that come with losing a loved one.
I purchased The Gateway We Call Death by Elder Russell M. Nelson. Not only is Elder Nelson an Apostle in the LDS Church, but he is also a reknowned physician and surgeon. Elder Nelson visited my father twice in the hospital and spoke at his funeral. He is a humble, loving and caring man.

Reading this book helped me find peace, and gave me a better understanding of death as part of a greater plan of happiness. Elder Nelson taught me grieving is an expression of pure love for the person who has died, and gratitude for the gifts they have given you in this life. I recommend this book to anyone who has lost a family member or close friend.

A co-worker gave me the book The Birth We Call Death by Paul H. Dunn and Richard M. Eyre. This book is also written in the context of the LDS religion. A quote by Molinos that rang true with me:

"Thou art never at any time nearer to God than when under tribulation, which he permits for the purification and beautifying of the soul."

I believe few experiences in life are more humbling than watching a beloved family member fall critically ill and pass from their mortal existence. This tribulation has brought me closer to my Father in Heaven, and my Brother Jesus Christ. I can't say I'm grateful my dad died, but I'm indeed thankful for the many beautiful and spiritual experiences I had surrounding his death.

I've read two other books in recent weeks: The Orphaned Adult: Understanding and Coping with Grief and Change After the Death of our Parents by Alexander Levy; and, How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide For Adults by Lois F. Akner.

These books are written by professional therapists who counsel adults dealing with the grief of losing a parent. The books touched on similar points, but I found The Orphaned Adult more beneficial to my situation (even though my mother remains very much alive).

A common theme in both books is when a parent dies, the child loses the unconditional love found in most parent-child relationships. For most human beings, our parents give us a type of love and security that simply cannot be replaced...not by a sibling, spouse or child.

Another major issue addressed in these books is society's lack of understanding on how long and in what manner an adult child should grieve for a parent. After all, we have come to believe that the natural course of life is an adult child should bury their parent. But there are no set timelines for the grief process. Grief can be as unique as the individuals involved in the loss. As one author put it, "Grief must be transversed moment by moment."

I've learned more about death, grief, sorrow, love and compassion in the last three months than I ever knew in my other 41 years put together. I'm still learning from my father's death, and expect lessons from this experience will continue throughout my life.

If you or someone you know is grieving for a parent or loved one, you/they may find these books benefical in the healing process as I have.

Day Spa Facial + Hot Rock Massage = :)

2011-11-11T19:52:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I purchased a Groupon to get a facial at my favorite day spa (New Image Day Spa in South Ogden). Getting a facial is among my favorite things EVER. I treat myself two or three times a year to this indulgence.

The last couple of weeks have been more chaotic and stressful than usual...so I booked my spa visit for the Veterans Day holiday (one of the many benefits of working at a credit union...11 paid holidays!).

This morning, when I arrived at the spa, I was informed that my husband had upgraded my visit to include a hot rock massage. Oh my gosh...does it get any better than that???

Daycare Finale

2011-10-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

My life took such a dramatic turn in August/September 2011 with my father’s sudden illness and death that I overlooked a major milestone in our marriage.

An event that we've eagerly looked forward to for years.

It was a date of significant importance that comes once in a lifetime for working parents everywhere.

We are finished with paying for long-term daycare!

It's over. The end.

Oh glory hallelujah!

For nine years we have paid for daycare.

$100 dollars a week, per child-not-in-school, for nine years.

Although I don’t have an exact dollar amount, my best guess is that we’ve paid $60,000 in child care expenses for our two daughters over the last nine years.

What does $60 grand mean to us?

Half of what we paid for our first house.

Three times what we paid for my car.

15 week-long Caribbean cruises.

25 week-long trips to Disneyland.

150 3-day weekends at the Blue Boar Inn B & B.

600 dinners at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.

1200 pairs of shoes (just kidding…I’m a bargain shopper, so probably more like 1500 pairs of shoes).

So now that we’re daycare free, can we go crazy with the spending?

Nope. Now we get to pay for braces. And piano lessons. And singing classes. And Girl Scout uniforms.

And shoes…not for me, but for two pairs of feet that are growing way too fast.

Oh, the joys and expenses of parenthood. It's the most expensive and best job in the world!

Hiking In Utah's National Parks

2011-10-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

Utah has five national parks (only Alaska has more), and our family visited all of them in 2011. Ryan, the girls and I hiked in every national park in Utah between April and October.

Pretty cool, eh? Below is proof in photos...

Arches National Park, April 2011.
Photo taken at Delicate Arch.

Canyonlands National Park, April 2011.
Photo taken at Mesa Arch.

Zion National Park, July 2011.
Photo taken at Weeping Rock.

Bryce Canyon National Park (October 2011).
Photo taken on Navajo Loop Trail at Two Bridges.

Capitol Reef National Park (October 2011).
Photo taken at Hickman Bridge.

Book Review: Pope Joan

2011-10-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

Based on a book club recommendation, I put Pope Joan on reserve at the library in July. The long waiting list meant that it didn't become available until September. I was not disappointed.

Pope Joan is not an easy read. In fact, it's quite complex with names, beliefs and customs that are more than a thousand years old. The book is historical fiction based on a ninth-century woman who disguised herself as a man to make a better life for herself.

In the 800s, girls and women were not educated. It was considered unnatural for them to learn to read or write. Females were considered inferior in every measure of society. The descriptions of abuse and neglect towards women are disturbing.

Joan defies the odds, and through a series unusual events learns to read and write in Latin and Greek. She is incredibly bright and gifted. To continue her education, she disguises herself as a man...taking on her dead brother's identity after he is killed in battle. Joan (now John) becomes a monk, studies for years as a monastery, expands her knowledge to the field of medicine and is ordained a priest. All the while, she is disillusioned by the corruption she witnesses in the church.

She makes the pilgrimage to Rome, and it short time becomes the personal physician of the Pope. Joan witnesses corruption and scandal in the church, yet remains. She quickly rises up the ranks of the church, despite attempts by power-hungry men to destroy her.

One person knows her true identity as a woman...a man who has been her only love-interest since her youth. They plan to run away from Rome together so they can be become husband and wife. Everything changes when she is unexpectedly elected the new pope, and he becomes her chief protector. She reigns for two years...her trued identity never discovered until her death.

According to the author, Donna Woolfolk Cross, Pope Joan is not a fictional character. Cross's seven years of research on the subject all point to the validity of Joan's rise to the throne of St. Peter. Modern Catholicism does not acknowledge her existence in any realm of the church.

This is a stop-and-make-you-think type of book. The conditions that the poor lived in during the dark ages were deplorable. Women and girls were treated as property, without any rights...or hope that they could make a better life for themselves. Joan's courage is admirable. Not only did she ignore the widely-held belief that women were inferior to men, but she also fought against corruption and ignorance.

I like to think Pope Joan is more than a myth. I want to believe she is a legend.

Tips For Working Moms

2011-09-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share a fantastic article on ksl.com for moms striving for work/life balance:
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=968&sid=17422266

Managing Expectations

2011-08-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

Another day, another study about working moms and stay-at-home moms.

***Sigh***

For your reference, here you go http://www.washington.edu/news/articles/lesdepression-for-working-moms-who-expect-that-they-2018can2019t-do-it-all2019

This study suggest that moms who work outside the home are less depressed than their stay-at-home counterparts. However, that's only true when working moms don't take on the I-am-supermom-and-can-do-it-all-perfectly attitude.

In a nutshell, working moms need to chill. No mom ever picked raising a family while managing a career because it is the path of least resistance. It's hard. Dang hard. And we all need to realize that some things may need to slide in order to maintain our sanity.

It all boils down to priorities and attitudes for working moms. Choose your priorities both at home and at the office, get a positive attitude about your choices, and forget the rest.

Pardon me for stepping on my soapbox, but I am weary of women who whine about the need to work outside the home to help financially support their families.

Get. Over. It!

It is not the opportunities and challenges that present themselves in our lives that define us; rather, it is the way we choose to respond to those opportunities and challenges that reveal our true character. Great blessings are in store for us when we embrace opportunities and challenges rather than throw ourselves a pity party because "life is hard."

I can't tell you how many times I've been blasted out of my comfort zone in the workplace. And you know what? Those experiences have made me a stronger and more determined person. That tenacity has been helpful during the last few weeks as I've learned to deal with my father's illness.

I don't write these words to diminish stay-at-home moms. The above-mentioned article states there is truth to the adage "Stay-at-home moms have the hardest job in the world."

My hat is off to you ladies who are in the trenches on the homefront 24/7. I value the stay-at-home moms who take on the roles of school and community volunteers. I appreciate their watchful eyes and kinds words towards my own children.

And truly, I'm not so worried if working moms or stay-at-home-moms are more or less depressed than the other. I'm concerned that moms are depressed.

Life is about managing expectations. Don't set the bar so high that you can never achieve your goals.

Bravo Ladies!

2011-08-25T20:20:00.000-07:00

Due to recent events surrounding my father's illness*, I've spent dozens of hours at the hospital in the last three weeks. Hanging out at the hospital has given me the unique opportunity to meet many women in the healthcare profession.

It may sound nutty, but I've really enjoyed watching these women in their professional element. And because I'm a talker, I've come to learn that many of these ladies are also moms.

This evening I attended back-to-school night with my daughters and met their teachers. Both teachers appeared professional and quite capable in their jobs. And both teachers mentioned in the course of their presentations that they are moms.

I'm so impressed by these women, both at the hospital and the school. They approach their jobs with enthusiasm and professionalism. Their attitudes are refreshing and uplifting. They have inspired me to do more good at my own office.

Bravo ladies!

*updates on Dad's illness are found here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/cliffordwhetten

Thankful

2011-08-21T20:43:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks have been among the most difficult of my 41+ years. Someone said it's like an emotional rollercoaster, but I feel more like it's an emotional climb of Mt. Everest.

On August 6th, my parents made an emergency return from their mission in Peru. A few days later, my father was diagnosed with a malignant pancreatic tumor. To complicate matters, the tests that were performed to assess the tumor resulted in an extremely severe case of pancreatitis that caused most of my Dad's organs to not function properly. As a a result, 5 of the 14 days my Dad has been in the hospital were spent in the ICU.

At this point, we still don't when my Dad will be strong enough for surgery. And it won't be until after the surgery that we know the extent of the tumor that is in my Dad's pancreas and bile duct.

But even during this incredible challenge, there have been many sweet moments.

When I've been alone in the hospital room with my Dad, we've had very special father-daughter talks. He has shared with me his testimony, thoughts and beliefs. At times, the Spirit is so strong I feel more like I'm in the temple than a hospital.

I had the privilege of being at the hospital when Elder Russell M. Nelson unexpectedly walked in the room, spoke with Dad, and gave him a Priesthood blessing. It was an amazing experience.

There have been other moments when I've been in tears at my home, or the office, or in my car, and the Spirit has calmed me almost immediately so I can carry on with the things I need to do.

And I've had the privilege of reading the many guestbook messages posted on this website http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/cliffordwhetten along with other emails to my Dad and Mom. I've always known they are wonderful people, but to read how Dad and Mom have touched the lives of so many others has been a blessing.

I have had many friends, neighbors, co-workers and extended family members offer me their support. Your kinds words and sweet acts have lifted me up when I've felt sad. Thank you.

My husband continues to be a rock, and wonderful support to me. And my girls are understanding that their Mom is going through a rough time.

Although this is an incredibly difficult experience, I have been truly blessed. I have learned a lot about myself in the last two weeks. My testimony of the Plan of Salvation has been strengthened. And I have come to know what it means to have the Comforter in my life.

I am thankful.

Updates on Dad

2011-08-11T21:42:00.000-07:00

I've learned a great lesson in the last seven days: we don't get to pick our trials...we just get to choose how we respond to the challenges that come our way.

Updates about Dad's health situation are available at this website:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/cliffordwhetten

Zuchinni

2011-08-03T20:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we harvested our first zuchinni, and tonight we made our first batch of zuchinni bread. It's a family favorite...especially with all the chocolate chips we add to the recipe. Of course, this is completely justified because the zuchinni are fresh vegetables grown in our backyard, and it's a great way to get the family their veggies...right?

So the family could hardly wait for the bread to cool a little bit before we devoured it, and I said "Save the end piece for me...that's my favorite."

And my husband said, "You mean the bread butt?"

Really? Bread butt?

How appetizing. How mature.

It was just one of those times I was reminded that even though I don't have a son, I still have a boy living in the house. "Butt" I love that guy...dumb jokes and all!

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

2011-07-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I've ever read such an intriguing "who done it" as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. It's no wonder that this book, originally written in Swedish, is an international best seller. The twists and turns of the complex cast of characters have kept me up way past my bedtime too many nights in the last week.

The main storyline centers on a teenage girl and her mysterious disappearance more than 40 years ago. She was once the member of a wealthy and influential Swedish family, and almost everyone in the extended family has been a suspect at some point. A middle-aged, hardcore journalist and young, troubled computer hacker become unlikely partners in determining the truth. And the sub-storylines...oh, the drama!

That being said, I was more disturbed by the book than I was entertained. For starters, the violence is horrific. Of course, this is the opinion of someone who can't even sit through five minutes of Law & Order. But truly, many scenes in the are book absolutely appalling.

Second, I was quite uncomfortable with author's casual approach to sex...even though I've known for years that sexual promiscuity is "normal" behavior in Sweden. Nonetheless, the actions and attitudes of the characters in the book are very different from what I believe to be moral. Call me a prude...I don't care...but I still believe in monogamous intimate relationships that begin only after a man and woman are married. (But that may be a completely different blog topic for another time.)

Third, the language. Quite simply, it was offensive.

So despite all of the rave reviews, I have chosen not to read the other two books in the trilogy. Sadly, I'm left hanging with so many questions to storylines left unanswered. But I just can't justify the entertainment value when it comes plagued with such intense violent and sexual content.

Mom Genes

2011-07-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

We recently had an enjoyable extended weekend in St George. Among other things, we hiked in Zion National Park, shopped at the outlet stores, swam in the pool, and attended The Little Mermaid musical at Tuacahn. And let’s face it ladies…we love staying in hotels where someone else makes the beds and picks up the towels.

With so much non-stop togetherness, upon arriving home after a five-hour road trip we all scattered to different parts of the house. My husband went to his office. One daughter headed downstairs to play with her neglected Barbies while the other daughter spent some quality time with the cat in her room.

Me? If you’re a mom, you already know…I headed for the laundry room.

I spent the next three hours managing loads of dirty laundry that had accumulated over the last four days. In between washing and drying, I unpacked/put away everything else, made dinner, sorted through the mail, checked on the garden, updated girl scout uniforms with new patches, and essentially restored order to the entire Windley family universe.

Is there some sort of “mom gene” (not to be confused with mom jeans) that prohibits us from sitting still for two minutes with unpacked suitcases and piles of dirty laundry hanging around the house? I can have a fun-filled and relaxing vacation, but the moment I’m home my life becomes a multi-tasking marathon.

Unless I’m soaking in the jetted tub, I cannot relax in my own home. I’m buzzing all over the house like it’s going to come crashing down if I’m not running around to hold it up.

At this point, I imagine you’re saying to yourself “Diana, if you’d just kick the Diet Coke habit you could probably chill out a little.”

Yep…already been down that road. You can read all about it here.

So this is my latest try-to-relax-at-home idea…hire a housekeeper. Of course I need to sell this plan to my husband, which won’t be easy.

But hey, I’ve had a full-time career for 17+ years and 9 ½ of those years include children. And it’s not like I want to hire Alice from The Brady Bunch to move in with us and date the local butcher. I just some bathroom scrubbing, floor cleaning and window washing to happen...and not by me.

So let me know if you have any recommendations on housekeeping services. Oh, and how to convince my husband it’s a fabulous idea.

I’ll keep you posted on the results.

Follow Me Please!

2011-07-20T21:04:00.001-07:00

Dear Gentle Reader,

I'd appreciate it if you'd kindly follow my blog.

You can do so by find the "Follow Me Please" section on the right hand side of the screen... keep scrolling down past the word cloud, blogs-I-read list, witty Twitter comments, etc. (If that doesn't work, contact me and I'll walk you thru the process.)

I'm not giving away a doo-dad if you follow me. (But I might buy you a Diet Coke during Happy Hour at Sonic.)

I'm not entering you to win a what-cha-ma-call-it if you make a comment. (Unless you're interested in my snowman collection. If not, I'm going to "Give Stuff A Second Chance" at the Deseret Industries.)

I've got nothing to sell to you. (With the exception of a mortgage, auto loan, and/or checking account from my favorite credit union. Contact me for great rates!)

I barely have time to blog, let alone come up with cutesy, creative give-aways.

Besides...marketing is what I've been doing for a living for 17+ years. I need a break from that stuff at home.

But if you find it in your heart to officially follow this blog, it would make my day.

Thank you,

Diana Windley

PS -- And I promise not to stalk and hunt you down if you decline this gracious invitation.

The Postmistress

2011-07-17T07:18:00.000-07:00

I bought The Postmistress by Sarah Blake earlier this month. It came highly recommended by Kathryn Stockett, author of The Help...which is one of my favorite books ever! (You can read my review of The Help here.)

The Postmistress is historical fiction about two women in the year leading up to the USA officially entered World War II. One woman is radio reporter covering the war in Europe. The other woman is the postmaster in a small, resort town on the cape in Massachusetts. Their lives intersect when fate has tasked them with personally delivering news bad news to the same person.

At the beginning of the book, the women take their professional responsibilities quite seriously...almost to an extreme, robotic level. But as events in Europe begin to hit closer to home, each is ethically conflicted. What was once black and white has become shades of gray.

Although the book is very well written and thought provoking, I just couldn't get past all of the sadness. In particular, the reporter who traveled through war torn Europe helplessly witnessed so many heartbreaking scenes. Many of the events written about in the book actually occurred in 1940-41.

I was a disappointed in the The Postmistress...it wasn't what I had anticipated by reading the back cover and reviews. The book was heavy and somewhat depressing. In fact, in all of the storylines threaded through the book, there were no happy endings.

The Postmistress...not really my thing.

Eavesdropping at DFW

2011-07-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

Last week I was sitting in the DFW airport with my husband and our girls waiting for our return flight to SLC. Airports are awesome for people watching and eavesdropping. (Don't judge…you do it too.)

In the waiting area at our gate, we sat across from a man and a woman dressed in professional business attire. I gathered they were work associates on a business trip. The very tan, 30-something woman was dressed-to-the-nines in a black skirt, silk blouse, high heels, and some swanky bling (didn’t notice a wedding ring). She spared no expense on her appearance.

As I was attempting to control my 5 year-old, I overhead the woman tell her travel companion that she was tired due to a late evening at the salon. While she was getting her hair done, Mark Cuban’s wife came in for her appointment. Mark had given her an expensive bottle of wine to take along…no doubt to celebrate the Mavericks’ recent NBA championship. All the ladies in the salon stayed late into the night getting pampered and drinking fancy wine out of paper cups toasting the Mavs.

Oh, the glamorous life of a female business professional.

How must it be?

Wait a second…I’m a female business professional too.

But I do not live in fancy clothes and jet around the country for business meetings. Nor do I rub shoulders at the salon with the wives of NBA team owners. There’s not a lot of glam in the world of Utah credit union marketing.

I buy work clothes at consignment shops and bling made in China. My last business excursion was to Provo, driving the bright-yellow company Scion 100 miles round trip. And I sip Diet Coke alongside whoever walks into Essensual Salon in South Ogden on an occasional Tuesday evening after a long day at the office.

The experience left me wondering a few things:

Which scenario (mine or Mrs. Cuban’s salon drinking buddy) is the stereotypical female business professional?

Is this the difference between women working in upscale Dallas and not-so-alluring Ogden?

Would she look that great with a couple of kids climbing all over her?

And finally, how much does it cost to get your hair done at the salon that caters to Mark Cuban’s wife?

I guess that’s what I get for people watching and eavesdropping…plenty of questions for which I’ll never know the answers.

Traveling with Children

2011-07-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

Traveling with children is the ultimate test of patience for a wife and mother.

On our flight back to Utah from Dallas this week, I was sitting next to our 5 year-old trying to keep her occupied with coloring books, puzzles, tic-tac-toe, story books, snacks, etc. For 2 1/2 hours, every 10 minutes I was finding something else to keep her entertained.

A very generous flight attendant gave her a full can of Sprite, so I had to take her to the "lavatory". She loves the little bathroom with the little sink, little mirror, little towels, etc. For her, it's like a dollhouse. (Nevermind that there was a line for the only working lavatory on the plane...she was in no hurry to get out of there.)

Sitting across the aisle from us was my husband with our 9 year-old daughter. For the entire flight, he was reading a book and thoughtfully taking notes. Every time I looked over at him he was peacefully pensive...completely unaware of the battle taking place between his wife and 5 year-old. It was like he was at the library and I was at the zoo.

So I've decided that on our next family vacation I'm flying first-class and leaving him in the cheap seats with the kids. I'm going to put up my feet, read a book and sip a fancy non-alcoholic beverage. And if the 5 year-old has to go to the lavatory, I'll have the flight attendant remind him that passengers in coach are not allowed to use the first-class facilities.

The Right Word

2011-07-07T19:43:00.000-07:00

I'm having issues with a word lately...and that word is PARTNER.

In a book that I recently read, the info about the author stated that "she lives with her partner and their two children in England".

So my question is this...is the partner of the author a legally married spouse, or are they just shacked-up?

In the book, the author described a male character as living with his partner, who was a woman, and their daughter. So I don't think that I should assume that when the author refers to her significant other as her "partner," that it is a same-sex relationship

Part of me thinks that it doesn't matter because I didn't like the book in the first place, so why should I care?

But the other part of me is screaming "it does matter!"

A "partner" is your companion in business, your co-conspirator in crime, the person that you do-si-do with in a square dance.

This guy I've been living with for the last 13+ years isn't merely my "partner"...he is my husband, my best friend, my one and only love, and the father of our children.

Is my husband my partner in life? Yes, technically speaking. But I think the term "partner" sounds cold. Like referring to your children as offspring. Or your cat as a mammal.

It's just not the right word.

Room

2011-07-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

I read Room by Emma Donoghue on a recommendation. I had it on reserve at the library for more than a month before it became available, so I thought it must be a good read. I brought the book along on our family vacation to Dallas.

The fictional story is told from the point-of-view of a five year-old boy. He has lived his entire life in an 11x11 foot room. He was born in "room", delivered by his own mother who had been held captive in "room" for seven years by a random kidnapper.

Yep...pretty heavy stuff.

The mom does a pretty good job of raising her son given the circumstances. But she's starting to lose it mentally and the boy is getting more curious about their little world.

The first half of the book is extremely repetitive, as you might imagine for two people trapped in a small space. I was bored while reading it, but just interested enough to discover if/how they would get out of their little prison.

So I kept reading.

The mom and boy did escape about mid-way through the book. I must admit that those were heart-pounding pages. But after they made it to safety, I still had more than one hundred pages to go.

The last half was even more depressing as the mom is trying to come to terms with everything that happened to her and in the world during the last seven years. She is so unstable that she can't even help her son. And the boy, he is so confused and scared that he just wants to go back to "room" to live alone with his mom. In the end, they both begin to cope with their new surroundings and make plans for a new life together.

It took four days to read the book, which is record time for me. But it was not a light, fun summer read. I found this book to be dark and depressing. Definitely not something to take along on a relaxing trip.

I was probably supposed to be inspired about people overcoming adversity and moving on, but this book was not inspirational. It had a few funny moments as the five year-old was discovering the world around him...kind of like a puppy...but other than that, it was mostly dreary and disturbing.

So I will only pass on this recommendation: unless depressing literature is your thing, don't read Room.

I like wearing high heels. However...

2011-06-23T19:31:00.000-07:00

Okay ladies…you may have noticed that I mention high heels in my blog posts from time to time. So I just must share this online article with you about the latest big-city trend…biking in heels.

You got it…dressed to the nines, including high heels, on a bike in crazy traffic urban areas. And when I say bike, I’m not talkin’ motorcycle. These ladies are cruising around on bicycles…the kind you pedal. With your feet. Wearing heels.

We get a lot of bikers in our neck of the woods, I’ll keep you posted if this latest fashion trend makes it all the way to Mountain Green.

Cuticles

2011-06-22T21:06:00.000-07:00

No one has asked me for beauty tips lately (go figure?!?!) so I thought I’d just share something any way as a gift to this blog's readers (all eight of you).

Go get yourself some Burt’s Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream (BBLBCC).

I have horrible cuticles. Painfully cracked and bleeding cuticles. My poor little fingers are not helped by the fact that I live in the second-driest state in the nation. My cuticles are unaware that all of northern Utah is under a severe flood watch.

Google “cracked cuticles” and you’ll be presented with options for all sorts of remedies. Everything beginning with Vaseline and rubber gloves (no thanks) to exotic lotions and potions from around the world (too expensive).

I love Burt’s Bees lip balm, so when a site recommended the cuticle cream, I was on the hunt (found it at Ulta and Wal-Mart). I purchased cotton white gloves to wear at night with the cuticle cream along with the Burt's Bees hand cream and body butter.

I'm not messing around...we're talking about curing cracking cuticles!

My husband doesn’t allow me to even wear socks to bed, so you can imagine his reaction to me wearing gloves. I suppose he was tired my whining about the pain, so he granted me permission to wear the gloves. (Seriously…this is a big issue on our marriage. I can wear flannel PJs from my neck down to my wrists and ankles, but my feet must be naked.)

After a week of cuticle TLC, I purchased two more BBLBCCs. I have BBLBCC everywhere I go…one for home, one for the office, and one for my purse. (Add it to the list!)

I.Love.My.Cuticles!

Obviously…who else would blog about her cuticles unless she was being paid by Burt’s Bees? (Which I’m not. However, if Burt’s Bees wants to send me some more BBLBCC, I’ll gladly accept it.)

So there’s the beauty tip you didn’t ask for…from your friendly non-beauty-expert blogger.

Give BBLBCC a try. Your cuticles will thank me.

Women at Work

2011-06-20T18:45:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of stories in the media today that I found interesting about women in the workforce.

One of the articles is about the low percentage of women and minorities serving on boards in corporate America. In the nation's largest publicly traded companies, women make up on 18 percent of director positions and only 8.4 percent of highest-paid positions.

I find it ironic that companies such as Urban Outfitters, who specifically target females, have boards made up of all white males. There are other companies such as Principal Financial Group that realize the value of gender diversity throughout the organization. They subscribe to the theory that good gender balance is a competitive advantage for the company.

More details are in the article found here.

The other article is about my favorite topic of work-life balance. It specifically addresses how work-life balance is important for healthy marriage relationships. What I found most interesting is that once children are added to the marriage, there is often a shift in the work-life balance dynamic for both the husband and wife.

You can read the full article here.

Enjoy!

Office Reputation

2011-06-16T17:55:00.000-07:00

Word-for-word conversation held in my office today...

Co-Worker from Training Dept, and fellow working mom, pokes her head in my office door and said: "Hey Diana, can I ask you a question?"

Me (Marketing Dept): "Sure, what's up?"

Co-Worker: "Does Coke Zero have sugar in it?"

Me: "Nope. No sugar, just like Diet Coke...only it tastes better."

Co-Worker: "Good. I figured if anyone would know around here, it would be you. And you're right, it does taste better. Thanks."

Me: "No problem. Any time."

And that's why I refer to the marketing department as the nerve center of the organization. All of the truly important conversations impacting the good of the business (and for human race in general) take place in that office.

If only walls could talk...

Water For Elephants

2011-06-06T19:53:00.000-07:00

There are some pretty unsavory characters and happenings that went along with train-traveling circuses during the Great Depression. My imagination ran wild reading all about them in the historical novel Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen.

From one week to the next the main character, Jacob Jankowski, goes from getting an Ivy League education in veterinary medicine to mucking-out train cars carrying exotic animals. The less-than-reputable circus is a rag-tag group of performers, freaks and laborers who are on-the-take from patrons of the show as well as eachother. Jacob manages to form a few alliances along the way but risks everything when he falls in-love with the wrong girl (or right girl, depending on how you look at it).

This book is a great example of why I love historical fiction. The author provided incredible insight into the desperation people felt during the Great Depression as well as life on the road (or the tracks, as it were) of a traveling circus.

I was hook, line and sinker for this book from the get-go. I found the plot's twists and turns thrilling...especially the ending.

WOW...what an ending! LOVED. IT!!! (I stayed up way past my bedtime because I could not go to sleep until I finished the book...and then all I could do was lay awake and think about the I-didn't-see-that-coming ending.)

The setting also provided for a handful of sad moments, as well as a few crude scenes and some foul language that I found distasteful. I'm a PG-13 kinda gal...what can I say?

Now I'd like to go see the movie which is currently in theaters, but I have even less time to watch shows than I do to read books. Let me know if you've seen the movie...and your thoughts compared to the novel.

If The Shoe Fits...

2011-06-02T19:42:00.000-07:00

It’s the semi-annual closet clean-out event at the Windley house. My girls are growing like weeds and they just can’t squeeze into last summer’s shorts and sandals. Clothes and shoes that are salvageable from my 9 year-old (Lauren) go into a plastic tote in the basement to await their resurrection in three years for my younger daughter. If clothes and shoes have survived the beatings from my 5 year-old (Jenna), we give them to an extended family member .

The other day I sent the girls to their closet to begin the process while I prepared lunch. My specific instructions to Jenna:

“Go to your room, try on all your shoes and put the ones that don’t fit you in a pile so we can take them Sarah’s granddaughter.”

Five minutes later, she walks into the kitchen BAWLING. She was sobbing so hard she couldn’t even catch her breath.

Me, to Lauren: “What’s wrong with Jenna?”

Lauren: “She’s upset because she has to give away her shoes.”

Me, turning to Jenna: “You’re sad about your shoes honey?”

Jenna: [Hysterical bawling followed by a head nod “yes”]

Me: “You only have to give away the shoes that don’t fit you anymore.”

Jenna: [More hysterics]

Me, hugging my distraught child: “I understand honey. I love my shoes too. But if they are too tight on your feet let’s give them to a little girl who can wear them.”

Jenna: [Heart-breaking sobs continue]

Me: “Will you feel better if I buy you some cute new shoes?”

Jenna: [Wiping away tears, head nod “yes”]

Lauren, realizing the opportunity presented in this dramatic situation: “Does that mean I get new shoes too? You always say there’s no such thing as too many shoes.”

Me: “Yes and Yes, I do.”

Like mother, like daughters. New shoes help us feel better.

And as the saying goes, “If the shoe fits, buy it in every color.”

Messages For LDS Moms

2011-05-31T20:51:00.000-07:00

I love moms. All moms. Stay-at-home moms. Working moms. Used-to-work-but-now-retired moms. Young moms. Experienced moms. Grandmoms. Future moms. Moms with one kid. Moms with a half a dozen kids. Aunts, cousins and friends who aren’t actual birth-giving moms but act like moms anyway. Moms are rock stars.

I'm a working mom, and I've taken some heat for that choice. I’ve talked to other working moms, and they agree that "working mom status" isn't always met with approval. The heat seems to be more intense for LDS working women. Perhaps we’re just a sensitive bunch, but I don’t think so. Working moms tend to develop thick skins at the office. It comes with the territory.

(Career women may get more outward applause and praise than our stay-at-home counterparts, but we also get more rejection and criticism. It’s one thing to have your kid pull a funny face at the chicken casserole you’ve prepared all afternoon. It’s a completely different thing to have your boss deny the proposal you’ve been working on for weeks.)

Back on topic. (My mind tends to wander…happens in your 40s. I blame it on too much Duran Duran in the 80s.)

I was driving with my girls to a Girl Scout activity during the Saturday morning session of the April 2011 LDS General Conference when I heard Elder Quentin L. Cook say:

"...we should all be careful not to be judgmental or assume that sisters [women] are less valiant if the decision is made to work outside the home. We rarely understand or fully appreciate people's circumstances."

Elder Cook continued, "I would hope that Latter-day Saints would be at the forefront in creating an environment in the workplace that is more receptive and accomodating to both women and men in their reponsibilities as parents."

I kept looking for the remote to push the rewind button. (Doesn’t exist on the car radio, by the way.) As an LDS working mom who blogs about finding work-life balance, this was practically an endorsement! (As a marketing professional, I'm compelled to add a disclaimer that no endorsement is expressed or implied.)

So it's official. Elder Cook is my new favorite general authority. Can we have favorites? Maybe he’s my unofficial favorite. I’ll just sustain him twice next time General Conference comes around.

It's Over, Oprah

2011-05-22T19:11:00.000-07:00

I may be the only female in the USA who isn’t sad or upset about Oprah ending.

I can honestly say that watching Oprah has not changed my life. It has not inspired me to become a better/worse person. It has not been a motivator to do good/bad in the world. It has not given me hope/despair for the future.

I don’t hate Oprah. I’ll watch Oprah the two times a year I take a sick day.

I can name three times in my life that I watched Oprah on a regular basis, and they are all related to staying home from school/work for a health issue or maternity leave.

Maybe that’s why I’m not upset about Oprah ending. I associate watching the show with pain, misery or sleeplessness. Or seeing Tom Cruise jump up and down on a yellow leather couch.

(Okay…there was that one episode with Bon Jovi that was really good. It actually helped me feel better. You can’t go wrong with those guys.)

I won't be watching the last show (unless I'm sick). And I don't plan on setting the DVR.

It's over, Oprah. Time to put the yellow leather couch on eBay.

The Last Jihad

2011-05-20T20:36:00.000-07:00

I attended the local book club for the first time last week. I managed to read the entire assigned book, The Last Jihad by Joel Rosenberg, and get it back to the library on the due date with 10 hours to spare. This is noteworthy only because it’s been the busiest May in my 40-year history of Mays.

Is it just me, or is May the second-craziest month of the year after December?

But I digress…

I was reading The Last Jihad in the days immediately following the death of Osama Bin Laden. I’m not a huge Barack Obama fan, but that was a guttsy move by Mr. President to order our military into Pakistan and take out Al Qaeda’s number one dude.

Yet I digress again…

It was quite timely to read this book at the time of Bin Laden’s death. The Last Jihad was written nine months before 9/11. The fictional book focuses on our country's response to global terrorists' acts originating in the Middle East. After 9/11, the author held-off publishing the book until 2002 so he could add the real-world 9/11 events to the fictional story. The author also includes real-world characters such as Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden. But the main characters in the book, including the U.S. President and his advisors, are fictional.

Some of the futuristic details are now historically incorrect. For example, in the novel Osama Bin Laden dies shortly after 9/11 but Saddam Hussein is still alive and the mastermind of the global terrorist movement. In my opinion, the factual inaccuracies weakened the intensity of the book. I guess Rosenberg's crystal ball wasn't working 100% while he was writing.

Even so, I found the book to be “this-is-scary-but-it-feels-good-to-be-an-American”… reminding me of the Tom Clancy novels I read in the 90s.

I didn’t realize that The Last Jihad is the first of five books in a series until I went to book club, but that explains the unsatisfying ending. The author totally left me hanging…which I suppose is the point in a series. Looks like I have more books to add to my need-to-read list.

But first...

I’m currently reading Change Anything…a self-help, motivational book. (Because everyone knows I need all the help I can get.)

And sitting on my nightstand is Water For Elephants…which I want to read before seeing the movie. (I hope Robert Patterson has normal skin tone in this show.)

Not to mention, I'd like to start reading the Harry Potter books we gave our daughter for Christmas. (Am I the only person who hasn’t read those books yet?)

But the biggest reading achievement of the last year was definitely getting through 45 learn-to-read books with our Kindergartener.

Whew! Soooo glad it’s summer!

Diet Coke Update

2011-05-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

I lasted 40 days without a Diet Coke before I caved.

I didn't make the Biblical connection of the 40-day Diet Coke fast until a few days ago.

According to the Old Testatment, it rained 40 days and 40 nights during the epic known as "Noah and the Ark". Then the rain stopped and rainbow appeared as a promise that the earth would never be flooded again.

(Or something along those lines. It's been alotta years since I took early morning seminary.)

I didn't find a rainbow at the end of my Diet Coke hiatus, but I discovered something almost as good.

One day I found myself wandering down the beverage aisle at Wal-Mart, looking away from the Diet Coke when I spotted "Energy" Crystal Light.

Intrigued, I picked-up the package. Apparently, "Energy" is code on the front of the label for "Caffeine" listed on the back of the label.

Oh. Baby!

I threw three packages into my cart and skipped on over to the self-checkout lane.

I'm telling you...I pop one of those Energy Crystal Light packets into my bottle of water every morning when I get to the office and BAM! I'm ready to go-go!

These days, an ocassional Diet Coke is saved for a Saturday afternoon or a road trip. Or if I'm eating Mexican food. (It's against the law to eat Mexican food without a Coke...just ask my mom.)

Thanks Energy Crystal Light...for being my personal rainbow after the no-Diet-Coke storm.

Stress Junkie

2011-05-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

I have a new diagnosis: Stress Seeker

According to one expert noted in Women’s Health, some of us think we need to be stressed-out all of the time in order to really feel alive. The “rush” from stress stimulates hormones such as adrenaline, DHEA and cortisol. Tension can become addictive and bring on unhealthy cravings for more.

Like crazy, outta control addicts we actually seek-out stress!

So if stress is a drug, then I’m a junkie.

"Hello, my name is Diana Windley and I'm a stressaholic."

Recognizing that I have a problem is the first step to recovery, right?

I had no clue about what the second step could be, so I did what naturally comes next and “Googled” STRESS, which linked me to “Wiki” STRESS which led me to online info about CHRONIC STRESS.

Hooked, I kept reading. With every click of the mouse I could feel the tension increase in my shoulders and neck.

For the love-of-peaches, I don't just have STRESS...I have CHRONIC STRESS!!!

I linked to another website that said non-stop, stressed-out people feel like they must always be “on” and rushed and frenzied and frantic.

They might as well as added a footnote that said “See Diana Windley”.

Another article said that modern women see stress as synonymous with success. If we’re not totally overwhelmed, we’re not doing enough.

Yep, yep. All true. True blue.

And then there’s this…stress causes weight gain and irritability. (And I thought it was too much chocolate and lack of caffeine.)

My self diagnosis:

I’m just an outta control, chubby hamster running
fast and furious on the stress wheel of life.

It took me about an hour to realize that reading about the negative effects of stress is really counterproductive for someone who is trying to control stress. And writing about it doesn’t seem to help much either.

Hmmmm…

(And you thought you were following a blog about achieving work/life balance…ha!)

Working Mommy Makeover

2011-05-09T19:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you're a working mom there are times when your appearance is less than professional. Like when you show up to the office with baby spit-up all over your dry-clean-only jacket. Or you smell like Desitin.

Today was "mommy-makeover" day at my daughter's kindergarten class. She gave me the royal treatment as she rearranged my hair, generously applied three different shades of lip gloss, and "carefully" painted my finger nails with dark red polish. My little girl was quite pleased with her efforts to make mom beautiful.

Immediately following my morning at the Mountain Greeen kindergarten salon, I hopped in the car and raced down to Salt Lake City for a couple of business meetings.

I was able to salvage my hair and lips...but the nails...well, they remained "manicured" for my meetings and the rest of the work day.

And I loved it!

Pajama Pants

2011-05-06T21:13:00.000-07:00

It's rare that people come to me for fashion advice.

Okay, it's never happened.

Regardless, I have something to say about "What Not To Wear."

And that would be pajama pants in public. You must not wear them outside your home.

Not at Wal-Mart. Not at the grocery store. Not to the quickie mart. Not at the movie theater. Not at school. Not at Starbucks. Not at Denny's. Not at Boston's (like I saw last week). Nope. Not anywhere.

If you are going one foot beyond your driveway, it is completely unexceptable to wear pajama pants. Not even cute pajama pants. Not even expensive, namebrand pajama pants. Not even if you "bling" your pajama pants or make them "vintagey". Even if you want to wear pajama pants with heels, it is not acceptable. Not ever.

This rule applies to adults, teenagers and children beyond toddler stage. This goes for both males and females. There are no exceptions.

No pajama pants in public.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

Weddings & Wars

2011-05-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big TV watcher, so last weekend will probably go down in the record books for me.

For starters, it was the Royal Wedding on Friday. It's a good thing that we have the DVR because I just might have been one of those crazies who set the alarm at 2 a.m. to watch it live. Even then, I got up at 6 a.m. to check out Kate's dress. As expected, she was gorgeous.

And let's be honest ladies, so was David Beckham. My, my, my GOODness! But what was going on with his wife's six-inch stilettos? I L-O-V-E heels, but seriously...how did she walk in those things...and pregnant to boot?!?!?!

So after work on Friday night my daughters and I (with occasional participation by my husband) sprawled-out across the sectional couch to watch the wedding. It turned into a hilarious 3-hour commentary on women's hats.

Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie? C'mon!

What. Were. They. Thinking?

On a more serious note, the second big TV-watching event of the weekend was unplanned. We turned on the TV for the first time on Sunday after 9 p.m. to find out the Osama Bin Laden had been killed.

Dead. Finally.

My husband and I were glued to the TV 'til midnight.

Stunned.

Last year the war became personal when my cousin was killed in Afghanistan. Until that moment, I had never personally known someone who died in war. My cousin's funeral was one of the best, most patriotic experiences that I wish I never had.

It's hard to explain, but it felt "right" to me that Osama Bin Laden was shown no mercy by team USA. (And this is coming from someone who doesn't support capital punishment.)

When the weekend started, I was proud to be an American because we had the good sense not to wear ridiculous hats. By the time the weekend was over, I was filled with pride for a much better reason.

God Bless America!

"Somewhat Poor" EQ

2011-04-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

The other day I attended a “Women In Business” luncheon where the guest speaker’s topic was Emotional Intelligence. I was so excited and motivated about her lecture on Emotional Intelligence that later on I Googled the subject to learn more. I found tidbits such as:

Emotional Intelligence is how we learn to be “smart” with our feelings.

And

Emotional Quotient (EQ) can be compared to IQ, or Intelligence Quotient. A person’s EQ measures how effectively they use their thoughts and feelings to make optimal decisions and build relationships.

Then I found an online test to determine my EQ. I took the 106-question quiz and awaited the results in anticipation.

I scored 88 out of 155 possible points, placing me in the 21st percentile (just a clarification...that's not so great). And then the quiz provided me the following summary of my EQ score (I'm providing my personal thoughts in red parenthesis):

“According to your self-report answers, your emotional intelligence is 'somewhat poor'. (What???) People who score like you may at times feel that they have trouble dealing with their own emotions and those of others. (Okay, this could be true.) They sometimes struggle to overcome difficulties in their lives and they are not always able to control their moods. (I’m not moody…am I? Of course, that depends on if I’m on a diet and/or lack of sleep. Or I'm stressed.) It may be hard for them to understand how best to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles and reach their goals. (I’m motivated by food, so that in itself is a problem with my goal to lose weight.) In addition, they find social interactions difficult at times, for several reasons. They may have trouble allowing themselves to get close with others, finding it difficult to be vulnerable enough to establish intimacy or perhaps lacking understanding of, or comfort with, social interactions. (Who has time for social interactions? I’m a working mom! That being said, I avoid “getting down in the weeds” with personal issues. Maybe it’s too many years in the business world attempting to appear savvy and tough.) Perhaps by working on your problem areas, you can become more confident in dealing with your own emotions and those of others. (My problem areas are my butt, thighs and gut. In addition, I have a problem finding time to shop for/cook healthy meals for my family and keep the house in a somewhat clean, orderly state. Another emerging problem area is the lovely crop of dandelions coming up in the yard.) ”

So there you go.

You are reading the words of a blogger who has a "somewhat poor" EQ. Apparently, there’s not a lot of emotional intelligence going on here.

Of course, I’m probably just confirming what you had already suspected about me. So thanks in advance for being my friend…and in particular to those of you who interact with me socially.

Apparently, I need all the help I can get! :)

Nugget of Wisdom

2011-04-26T20:35:00.001-07:00

I came across this little nugget of wisdom today and thought it was worthy enough to share:

"If the world was a logical place,
men would ride side saddle."

(Hee-Hee!)

Pre-Vacation Craziness

2011-04-20T19:47:00.000-07:00

I am worn out getting ready for a little four-day spring break getaway.

It's not enough that I have to get this family of four ready with laundry, suitcases, roadtrip activities, and picnic lunches. (And where the heck am I going to hide the Easter basket goodies in our car?)

No, there's much more to do than just preping the family. If you're a working gal, then there's the stuff to do at the office just so you can be out for a couple of days.

Fortunately, I have a great team who can definitely keep things humming along in our department. But there are things that I can't/won't/don't delegate. Don't ask me why because I probably couldn't come up with a good answer. Maybe it's just for job security.

The point is, when I take vacation I don't just have to get my family ready and my house in order. I have to get my job duties situated so I'm not buried when I walk back in the door.

There is so much time and effort that goes into getting ready for a vacation that I have determined that I need a pre-vacation to get everything all together for the actual vacation. And then when I get back, I need a post-vacation to everything back to normal.

In the ideal world according to Diana Windley, a four-day spring break trip would actually go six days to accomodate pre- and post-vacation days.

But in the real world, I'll work 'til the last minute, cram as much fun as we can into four days, come home dog-tired with suitcases filled with dirty laundry, and try not to drown in the swimming pool of work, school and home life on Monday morning.

Wish me luck!

Wage Gap For Women In Utah

2011-04-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

This article should get women in Utah fired up. Unfortunately, it probably won't garner much reaction.

On average, full-time working women in Utah earn $14,600 less annually than their male counterparts.

You can read the full article in the Salt Lake Tribune here: http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/money/51607664-79/women-utah-gap-families.html.csp

Interview Questions

2011-04-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

Out of the blue, the mail carrier dropped off a package with a book at my office. It’s always nice to receive an unexpected gift. The book is titled Profiles in Marketing Excellence by Pamela Lockard. It profiles marketing professionals who are at the top of their game. I don’t know Pamela personally, but I certainly do appreciate her thinking about her partners in crime (errr, marketers)!

In this book, the author asks the marketing pros who are profiled to answer a question with another question: “What is your favorite interview question?”

I don't know about you, but I've been asked some odd things over the years as I have been interviewed for different jobs. For example:

“Would you leave this job if your husband found a different job out-of-state?” (Seriously? Is this 1960?)

“Why did it take you six years to graduate from college?” (Missionary service for 18 months in Argentina.)

“You are never to speak with anyone in upper management unless you go directly through me first. Will you have a problem with that?” (Yes...I think I have a problem with you.)

Always looking for fresh material, I decided to borrow some of the interview questions found in this book to use when I’m hiring for positions in my marketing/sales department. It could make the interview process more insightful…going beyond the normal “what are your strengths and weaknesses?” or “where do you see yourself in five years?” or “what is the last book you read?” Blah! (Everyone already has canned responses for those questions anyway.)

Check out the questions below and ask yourself how you would personally answer them in a job interview.

How do you choose your socks in the morning?

Why wouldn’t I hire you?

What is the best advice you ever received?

What is the higher purpose that drives you?

What do you wish you would have done differently in your career?

What ideas did you have this morning on your way to work?

What would you do if you only had one more day to live?

How much of your success is accidental?

Feel free to tell me your favorite (or worst) interview question in the comment section. I need all the help I can get!

Life Without Diet Coke

2011-04-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

I gave up Diet Coke two weeks ago. It’s been a long two weeks…for me, my family, and my co-workers.

And when I say Diet Coke that includes Diet Pepsi, Diet Dr Pepper and pretty much any carbonated beverage that has caffeine. I thought about giving up soda all together, but today I caved and purchased a diet cherry limeade from Sonic.

(Sidenote: Yes, I realize that once they mix in the cherry syrup, they’ve probably added more than enough sugar to make-up for the “diet” part of the diet cherry limeade. I'm not crazy enough to give up caffeine and sugar at the same time.)

I’m not even completely sure why I’m on this quest. I’ve had a couple of friends tell me that giving up Diet Coke helped them lose weight. I can’t see how this is possible because I’ve become a carbaholic in the last two weeks. I’m so tired from the lack of caffeine in my system that I’m grabbing candy, chocolate or whatever other sugary-substance I can find to help me stay awake. (Thank goodness there is an endless supply of Dum-Dums lollypops just one floor down from my office!)

I read online that giving up caffeine would be similar to, and I quote, “coming out of a fog after the first three or four days.” Whatever! If this is what it feels like to be fog-free, then throw me back into the swamp. Things were much clearer when I was on my caffeine buzz.

I must admit that I am sleeping better at night sans the caffeine. Maybe I’m sleeping too well. I’m so tired that I’m dragging myself to bed by 10 p.m. and getting a full eight hours of shut eye. When’s the last time that happened?

I’ve been hitting the treadmill and Thursday-night yoga class to get those endorphins moving. Unfortunately, quality time on the treadmill at 6 a.m. doesn’t give me a boost for that 3 p.m. strategy meeting with the boss.

I’ve gone for long periods of time without Diet Coke in the past. With both pregnancies I gave up caffeine…and went right back to it within hours of delivery.

The jury is still out on the case if Diana will start feeling better without caffeine. We’re two weeks into the trial and I’m not a believer. But I’ll keep the faith. I’m not a quitter…yet.

Work/Life with Dilbert

2011-03-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

I love Dilbert! I especially enjoyed today's comic strip because it's about a subject near and dear to my heart...Work/Life Balance. Enjoy!

My Two Cents

2011-03-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

Do you realize that it took a major natural disaster in Japan, with catastrophic consequences, to knock Charlie Sheen down a couple of rungs on the news ladder?

C’mon people! What is our problem???

I don’t have the time nor the tolerance for demanding, whacked-out celebrities and diva, show-me-the-money athletes.

And while I’m at it, I think the Tea Party folks are coo-coo-for-cocoa-puffs crazy.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love.

What’s so crazy about peace, love and understanding?

Let’s make the world a better place. For me, and for you, and the entire human race.

After all, it’s a small world.

(Okay…that last part was a little bit cheesy...but at least you know where I stand.)

Pursaholic

2011-03-12T20:01:00.000-08:00

I found out this week that I have an emotional crutch. Apparently, I carry around this tangible item to help me feel better about myself.

It's my big purse.

That’s right, according to a recent online article, a large handbag is a grown woman’s security blanket.

“It’s a reflection of the woman’s roles as caretaker,” says Linda Abrams of the Philadelphia-based Council for Relationships.

“Women in general see themselves as natural caretakers and nurturers,” she says. “They’re anticipating all the things that they might need or someone else might need. They want to be prepared, just in case.”

There’s even a term for women who are extremely dependent on their huge bags.

You guessed it: Pursaholics.

So I decided to pull everything out of my big purse to figure out if I’m truly ready for whatever comes my way. This is what I found:

Gum
Lotion
Two lip balms and three lip glosses
One bottle of Tums
Two Motrin bottles …one for kids and one for adults
Three cough drops
Spray hand sanitizer
One Kleenex packet
Two nail files
Nail clippers and tweezers
Pocket mirror
Hair brush
Mini notebook
Four receipts
Three pens from my credit union
Coupon organizer with at least 50 coupons
Renewal notice from the Utah Drivers License Division
Business card case
Basketball ticket stubs
Two checkbooks
One wallet…with 60+ loyalty cards, membership cards, gift cards, ID cards, debit cards, and credit cards (this is whole different blog for another time)
$13 in cash and another $2.13 in coin

(Interesting note…neither my keys nor my mobile phone were found in my purse.)

With this purse inventory, I’ve determined that I’m prepared for bad breath, chapped lips, sore throats, runny noses, and headaches. I can save $1.00 on two boxes of cereal, and I’m one more lunch away from getting a free meal at Café Rio. I have $10 in giftcards for Starbucks, and I don’t even drink coffee.

Even with everything that currently dwells inside my purse, I have plenty of room for more. It’s really that big.

In fact, I might be a hoarder on a micro level…a purse-hoarder. As long as I can keep fitting more stuff in that bag and heft it around, I’m not taking anything out.

And when I finally do run out of room, I’ll just find a bigger purse.

The Hunger Games

2011-03-05T10:57:00.000-08:00

I probably wouldn’t have joined the masses in reading The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins had I known they are so violent. In fact, if anyone had spent more than two minutes telling me the plot of the books I wouldn’t have read them because I normally don’t go for thriller sci-fi stuff.

All I ever heard was, “you’ve got to read these books…they are really, really good.”

So I had to find out for myself.

It’s true. All true.

These books are incredible.

And violent.

It’s the “good vs. evil” kind of violence. Good people die. Bad people die. In fact, I don’t think a chapter goes by that someone doesn’t end up dead or have a near-death experience.

Thrown into the mix is a love triangle. One girl torn between two guys who love her.

I know what you’re thinking, “a love triangle, how original.” But hold on. The two guys in The Hunger Games series have more backbone than Edward and Jacob in the Twilight books. These dudes aren’t love-sick puppies clamoring for the affection of a zero-personality high school girl. In fact, I bet there are guys out there who have read these books and now harbor man-crushes on Peeta and Gale (despite their unmanly names).

Self-respecting men can read The Hunger Games. I'm not so sure I can say the same about Twilight.

I’ll just say it…The Hunger Games kicks butt on Twilight.

And in the final chapter, the girl ends up with the guy who, in my opinion, was the better choice. (Unlike Twilight, where the girl ends up with the dumb vampire.)

But going beyond the romantic storyline, The Hunger Games series is about good overcoming evil. It’s the classic “David and Goliath” saga where simple, somewhat ordinary people are thrown into an impossible situation and come out on the other side victorious. It's about never giving up despite the odds.

But make no mistake…this is not a feel-good series with a perfect happily-ever-after ending. Although I was satisfied with the conclusion to The Hunger Games, it didn’t exactly leave me with warm fuzzies. Justice prevailed in the end, yet I couldn’t get past the incredibly senseless acts of violence. Perhaps that was the author’s intent.

Victory, and often love, can often be bitter-sweet.

Why It's Called Social Media

2011-02-27T13:22:00.001-08:00

Conversation last night in our living room...

My Husband: Am I expected to respond to everyone who makes a comment on my Facebook wall?

Me: It's called social media for a reason.

My Husband: (silence)

Me: (eye roll)

The end.

Good Jobs & Good Times

2011-02-24T18:28:00.000-08:00

One of the things that I enjoy about being in the workforce is the variety of people that I’ve associated with. And while not 100% enjoyable, I’ve had plenty of experiences to help me grow. With 17 years of full-time workplace happenings, I have plenty of stories to tell. For the most part, I’ve enjoyed my co-workers. And I’m thankful they’ve put up with me.

There was the guy who saved the brown paper bag from his lunch every day. He would take it home so his wife could reuse it to pack the next lunch. By doing this, I imagine he saved about $5 over the course of 10 years.

There was my boss who was a chain smoker. Our offices were on the 3rd floor, and the smokers’ “lounge” was outside on the patio of the first floor. This was before everyone had mobile phones. She would forward her office line to my desk so I could run downstairs and outside to get her for calls. This went on every day, all day.

There was another boss who loved to chew on tooth brushes. Every time I walked into his office, he would be gnawing on one like a dog with a chew toy.

There was the staff meeting when a guy co-worker proposed to a girl co-worker in front of 150+ other co-workers. (She actually said YES.)

There was the company where I was the low-person on the totem pole so I was responsible for making the coffee each morning. Never mind that I didn’t drink coffee…that was still my job. I’ve been told that I make a good cup of joe. I’ll have to take their word for it.

There was the guy who wore Birckenstock sandals with socks every day to work...even with a suit.

There was the business trip that I took a two-hour taxi cab ride from Louisville to Cincinnati with four strangers to make a connecting flight and avoided getting stuck in Kentucky for another 48 hours.

There was the company that would put us up in the cheapest hotels imaginable. The “National 9” in Gillette, Wyoming was so bad that I had to put towels on the floor because I was scared to walk on the carpet barefoot.

In contrast, there was the time on a business trip that I was staying at The Mirgage in Vegas and my room was upgraded to a top floor suite.

There was the business trip that my co-worker and I had 7th row seats to the inaugural game of the Arizona Diamondbacks. The highlight was being two steps away from making it in the elevator with Alice Cooper, who sang the national anthem.

There was the business trip I ate who-knows-what at a roadside cafe in middle-of-nowhere Louisiana. (And it was delicious!)

And then there was the business trip I ate world famous KC BBQ in a suite at the Kansas City Royals baseball game.

Seventeen years. Five different jobs. I could go on and on.

Good times.

Diagnosis

2011-02-09T13:41:00.000-08:00

So I thought I was tough. Just needed one sick day, and I was back in the saddle.

Wrong!

I went into work on Tuesday. I didn't feel well, but a girl can only sleep so much. Besides, I go nuts staying home. I love my kids and I love my house. I just haven't learned how to love staying home all day.

By 4 p.m., I was done. So finished. Couldn't function. one. more. minute. My boss called at that very moment of despair and I told him I wasn't going to make it. Fortunately, I have a great boss and he told me to go home.

So sad...I missed our ladies night at the church. I was really looking forward to an evening of yoga and smoothies, but it would have been a personal disaster.

I got my sick self to the doc this morning. I was sure that I had the flu or strep throat. My throat has been on fi-yah!

Wrong again!

The diagnosis was bronchitis.

Fine. Okay. Whatever. Just give me a prescription for some drugs to cure what's ailin' me 'cause I can't take it any more.

Now I'm back home, sufficiently medicated, laying on the couch and watching a thrilling episode of Yo Gabba Gabba with my kindergartner.

(Actually, it's pretty entertaining to watch her dance along. She doesn't realize I'm checking her out...she just thinks I'm blogging.)

Sick Day

2011-02-07T14:08:00.001-08:00

I'm not at work on this Monday. I'm home sick. This isn't as great as it sounds. Sure, I slept past noon and didn't shower til 2 p.m. But daytime TV is horrid and I'm too drugged to focus on reading a book.

My kids would probably prefer I had gone into the office because I'm rather cranky when I'm sick. Likewise, I'm certain my staff is glad that I stayed home so they wouldn't have to deal with my mood.

To help me feel slightly better, I threw on some sick-girl sweats and went to the local convenience store. I wasn't sure which beverage would help me the most, so I bought both Gatorade and Diet Coke. And just in case yogurt covered pretzels can cure what's ailin' me, I picked up a package of those too.

That's probably going to be the extent of my productivity today.

Impressive, I know. (Blah!)

The Help

2011-02-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

There are good books, and there are great books. And then there is The Help by Kathryn Stockett. It's in a category all by itself.

You've probably already read it, since I seem to be behind everyone else when it comes to discovering best sellers. But just in case you haven't, I'll try to sum it up on a few sentences.

For starters, in this book the word "Help" is a noun referring to African American women who work as maids, caregivers, cooks, nannies, etc in the homes of white families.

The novel is set in Jackson, Mississippi during the 1960s civil rights movement and focuses primarily on three women. Two of the women are black, and work as "the help" for white families. The other main character is a young, white woman who becomes sympathetic towards these black women. These three ladies secretly band together to write a book about the relationships between "the help" and the white women who employ them.

Of course I found myself cheering for the two main "help" characters in this book. These women worked 10-hour days, six days a week at every domestic chore imaginable with very little, if any, appreciation. Then they would go home and do it all over again for their own families. They were caring, funny, bitter, hopeful, prideful, humble, scared and brave all at the same time. Incredible women!

And the white woman, known as Miss Skeeter, who came to recognize what a vital role black women were playing within white families in Mississippi. The more she learned about "the help" as real women just trying to survive in a crazy, unfair world...the more she realized how much they had in common.

My favorite lines from the book:

"There is so much you don't know about a person. I wonder if I could've made her days a little bit easier, if I'd tried. If I'd treated her a little nicer. Wasn't that the point of the book? For women to realize, We are just two people. Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I'd thought."

I could go on and on about how this book touched me. As I read it, I thought about my personal experiences growing up in south central Texas among many African Americans. Looking back, I see unjust things that I was too naive realize at the time.

And I thought about the important role that women play in every aspect of society. Ordinary, everyday women who go about their lives in extraordinary ways as they try to make a difference.

Thank you Kathryn Stockett, for helping me try to understand. I hope I never stop trying.

Top Ten Reasons I Can Tolerate Winter

2011-02-01T17:51:00.000-08:00

It would be easy for me to come up with a list of top-10-reasons-why-I-hate-winter. The toughest part would be keeping the list to only 10 items.

So as a personal challenge, and in an effort to stay somewhat positive, I decided to create a list of top-10-reasons-why-I-can-tolerate-winter.

1. Don’t need to shave my legs every day.
2. Get to buy cute boots.
3. Cover my non-toned arms with long-sleeve sweaters.
4. No yard work…more time to read.
5. Hot chocolate.
6. Tax return checks.
7. Valentine’s Day = jewelry from Brighton (hint, hint)
8.
9.
10.

Apparently I’m not up for this creative challenge after all because I had a brain-freeze after seven reasons. (Must be the extra cold weather.)

Take heart…January is over. It’s only up from here.

Eat, Pray, Love.

2011-01-25T20:10:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

This book has been on my “want-to-read” list for about a year. And no, I haven’t seen the movie starring Julia Roberts.

(Are you kidding me? Actually going to a movie that doesn’t target elementary-age children? I haven’t done that in more than a year!)

To show you how clueless I was on the book, I didn’t even realize it is non-fiction. It is a true story written by a 30-something girl in search of her self. Her life is an emotional ghetto after a divorce, so takes off traveling for a year in an attempt to heal her spirit. She picks three countries to live in…spending four months in each. Her choices? Italy, India and Indonesia.

Loved. This. Book!

First, the author is hilarious. I imagine she could write a book about washing machine repair and I would LOL the entire way through it.

Second, the author keeps it real. (Well, as real as you can be for someone in her 30s who takes off for a year without any legitimate responsibilities.) After reading her tale, I’m way more sympathetic towards anyone who has gone through a divorce.

Third, she lives in amazing settings! Italy has always been on my top-10-places-I-want-to-visit list. I’ve never, ever wanted to go to India…but the author almost persuaded me it wouldn’t be so bad. And I never thought about Indonesia until now…Bali sounds awesome. (Honestly, it’s the middle of winter and I’ll take just about anyplace that has warm weather and a beach right now.)

There are tons of great quotes from the book, but here are a couple of my favorites:

“You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are a slave to your emotions.”

And

“As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff of it is bad for you.”

In case you’re wondering about the title, I’ll sum it up without trying to give too much away.

While traveling through Italy, she spends a lot of time eating. (It was like "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" from the Food Network…only Italian style.)

In India, she practices intense yoga and meditation. Hence, the praying. (And yes, it made me realize that I need to get my big butt back into a yoga class.)

And in Bali, she finally begins loving herself and others. (I won’t tell you that she falls for an older Brazilian guy. Oooops…I just did.)

It was a great read. And while I’m envious of her travels, I do not envy her personal journey of self-discovery. I’m content knowing who I am and what I want to accomplish in my life. I love my husband and want to be with him forever. I love our girls more than I can say. That’s my chosen journey. There’s really no need for me to leave my front porch to figure that out.

My Life Broken Down By Segments

2011-01-22T19:10:00.000-08:00

*Click on image to get a better view of the chart.
**Of course this is an exageration...I don't really sleep that much.
***Perhaps if I exercised more than I ate, I'd be in good shape!

5 Year-Old Feminist

2011-01-20T19:54:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had this completely uncoached conversation with my five year-old daughter while in the laundry room:

Jenna: "Mom, why are you doing Dad's laundry?"

Me: "That's a good question. Why am I doing Dad's laundry?"

Jenna: "Dad should do his own laundry."

Me: "You're right...Dad should do his own laundry".

Jenna: "It's okay if you do your kids' laundry, but not Dad's."

Me: "I couldn't agree more. Now go tell your Dad."

So it appears that we have a little five year-old feminist living in our house.

Hee-Hee!

(I wonder where she gets it?)

Useful, Beautiful or Joyful?

2011-01-17T19:36:00.000-08:00

My mom recently sent me one of those forwarded lists via email. You know, the lists about what’s really important in life, yadda, yadda, yadda. So I was cruising through the list of 45 items that are supposed to have the keys to happiness for my life when I got to #17:

Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

Okay, I get it. Throw away the junk in your life…both literally and figuratively.

Downsize.
Trim.
Reduce.
Minimize.
Simplify.

It sounds lovely.

Let’s start with my fridge. My brother-in-law would tell you I’ve been simplifying my fridge for years. He delights in teasing me about the lack of content inside that major household appliance taking up space in my kitchen.

But I’m talking about the outside of the fridge.

Some days I can barely see the fridge hiding behind the colored pictures, artwork, flyers from school, calendars, newspaper clippings, notes from dance class, party invitations and so on.

How does this chaotic display on the fridge stack up against #17:

Useful…yes.

Beautiful…I love my daughters’ artwork because it shows their creativity and development. So to me, it is beautiful. The rest of it…blah!

Joyful…looking at it all those papers on the fridge does cause tears to well-up in my eyes, but I wouldn’t necessarily refer to those tears as “joyful”.

I guess the operative word in #17 is “or”. It doesn’t have to meet all three criteria…just a minimum of one.

So for now all of the stuff clinging for dear life to the fridge is safe as long as it remains somewhat useful or even beautiful to a five year-old. Of course, that’s just until I get another list of 45 things that tell me a clutter-free fridge is the key to a happy life.

Positive Words

2011-01-11T20:43:00.000-08:00

Last month I attended the viewing of a sweet friend and former neighbor. Lucille was 91 years-old, and passed away after a brief illness.

She was a fantastic lady, full of life and positive energy. Lucille had more spunk in her little toe than most people have in their entire body. And she always looked fantastic!

One Sunday in the hallway at church she grabbed me and said, “I saw your picture in the newspaper and I just have to say that I’m so proud of you!” Then she gave me a big hug and marched away in her high heels. (She was referring an announcement in the local paper about a promotion that I had received at work.)

It was such a small gesture, but she'll never know how much that meant to me. I had two very young children, and was really struggling with work/life balance at that time. She helped me feel that I could successfully manage the crazy life of a working mom.

What a big difference a few positive words can make.

Thanks Lucille...I'll miss you!

My Pants Feel Tighter

2011-01-01T15:14:00.000-08:00

Husband: “I felt bad when I ate the last piece of chocolate pecan pie.”

Me: “Why…because you didn’t save it for me?”

Husband: “No. I felt bad because it was the last piece of chocolate pecan pie.”

(Sidenote: I make a pretty good chocolate pecan pie. I acquired the recipe in my beloved Texas, where the pecan tree is the official state tree. We take our pecan pie seriously in the Lone Star state.)

I have no idea how my husband could feel bad about the pie because it’s been a sweet-food fest at our house for days on end. Chocolates, toffee, brownies, candy & caramel popcorn, cinnamon rolls, fudge, pumpkin chocolate chip bread, lemon bread, banana bread, cookies-of-every-variety-known-to-man, carrot cake and birthday cupcakes with ice cream.

Of course, this comes from the man who raids the chocolate chips when I’m not around. If he can’t find chocolate, he’ll dive into a bag of shredded coconut. He’s even been known to dip a spoon into the bag of brown sugar if he can’t find anything else sweet.

I’m not lying…just ask him.

For future reference, if you ever want anything from my husband just toss over a Hostess cherry pie. He’ll be at your service right after he chases it down with a glass of chocolate milk.

I don’t even want to get on the scale to verify the damage I have done over the last few weeks. My pants feel tighter and that’s all the proof needed. And yet, it’s almost torture to get out of bed early enough for some quality time on the treadmill.

Sounds like it’s time for some New Year’s Resolutions at the Windley house.

Eating healthier, exercising more, and regular visits to the bathroom scale no matter how humiliating it may be.

No more sugar-filled treats. No more homemade chocolate pecan pie.

And honey…no more sneaking into the chocolate chips and other stuff. If you want to eat something sweet then cut-up an apple. And no, you can’t dip it in caramel sauce.

Fridge Water

2010-12-28T20:42:00.000-08:00

The water dispenser in the fridge is broken. I've lived 38 of my 40 years without a water and/or ice dispenser on the fridge door, so you would think this is no big deal.

Wrong, my friends.

This is a HUGE deal.

The other night my five year-old went to get some water from the dispenser located on the fridge door. When it didn’t work, she turned to look at me...stunned.

The blank stare in her eyes said it all: “What should I do now Mom? I’m thirsty, and there’s no water.”

I have a college degree. I solve complex issues at the office every day. Yet, for a moment, I was stumped.

And then it came to me…

Aaaah, yes! We have a faucet in the kitchen that can be used for more than rinsing dirty dishes. We can actually drink water that comes from the kitchen faucet.

(Although the acceptability of the mineral content in the water of the Mountain Green “Cottonwoods Phase 1” subdivision as been a topic of great debate in the last year.)

We’re troubleshooting the fridge problem via Google (if you think life without water in the fridge door is tough, I can’t imagine trying to resolve any household issue without Google…we would actually have to locate an owner’s manual).

With any luck we’ll have the waterless fridge situation resolved shortly. Until then, I just hope nothing more significant than a light bulb goes out…I can’t spare the brain power!

Christmas Baby

2010-12-22T21:12:00.000-08:00

My water broke at 8 a.m. on December 25, 2001. This came as a complete shock for several reasons:

The baby’s due date was still 12 days away;
I didn’t have any contractions or labor pains; and,
It was Christmas morning…what the heck was the baby thinking?

My husband and I just stared at each other in disbelief. This was our first baby. In hindsight, it was a sign of things to come…the first lesson that children are full of surprises.

Ryan started making phone calls, sharing the news.

“Merry Christmas. Diana’s water broke so we’re headed to the hospital.”

Everyone, except for the doctor, thought we were joking.

L O N G story short, the best Christmas present we ever received was born at 9:03 p.m. on December 25th.

So far, Lauren likes her birthday on Christmas Day. One Christmas Eve, when she was about to become five years-old, someone asked her “Lauren, is tomorrow your birthday?”

Her response, “Yep, me and Jesus.”

I suppose if you’re got to choose to share a birthday with someone significant, it would be Him.

I have solicited advice over the years on how to handle the birthday-and-Christmas-all-in-one-day situation. This is what we’ve done so far…feel free to add your suggestions in the comment section of this blog.

There is a birthday present under the tree on Christmas morning from Santa. It is wrapped in birthday paper, not Christmas paper.
We don’t combine birthday presents and Christmas presents. We do Christmas presents in the morning and birthday presents at night.
On the night on the 25th, we have a family birthday party, complete with cake and ice cream. There are usually games and even a piñata.
If she has a birthday party with friends, we hold it in January after the Christmas decorations are put away. If not, she chooses a special family activity to celebrate her birthday on a day other than December 25th. This year she wants us to all go to Tepanyaki for dinner. (Good choice Lauren!)

It always amazes me when Lauren tells someone “My birthday is on Christmas” and they respond “I bet you hate that.”

Really? C’mon people!!!

I’m busting my you-know-what-off to make the birthday-and-Christmas combo a success. And then some yahoo comes along and tells her that she’s getting a raw deal because she was born on December 25th.

There should be a support group for parents with Christmas babies. And our mission will be to stop the stupid things people say to our children about their birthday. We’ll even let parents who have babies born within a week of Christmas join the group.

Other communication points for our Christmas baby support group could be:

Say “Happy Birthday” first and “Merry Christmas” second;
Send a separate birthday card from your Christmas card; and,
Never wrap birthday presents in Christmas paper or gift bags.

I could go on, but in the spirit of season I’ll jump off my soap box.

I wish a very happy birthday to everyone who was born in late December.

Oh, and Merry Christmas too!

All In The Spirit of Christmas

2010-12-18T22:15:00.000-08:00

I try to get Christmas shopping finished early. I usually take advantage of my “free” time on Columbus and Veterans’ Day to shop ‘til I drop. Sounds great, right? Not when you have a determined five year-old in the mix.

In 2008 Barbie released The Diamond Castle DVD. We made the purchase and added it to the collection. About a year later I found a Barbie named Liana from the movie at Big Lots for $10 so I purchased it for my daughter.

(Background information: There is a series of Barbie animated movies that go straight to DVD. About one new movie is released each year. Then Barbie mass markets the dolls, playsets, accessories, books, etc., until the next movie is released.)

Fast forward to October 2010. I asked my five year-old, Jenna, what she wanted for Christmas. She said The Diamond Castle playset and the other Barbie from the movie named Alexa. I visited several different stores. Nothing. Then I go online to shop. I soon discovered that the castle originally retailed for about $95 but is no longer in production. It now goes on eBay and Amazon for up to $350 new, about $200 used. Barbie Alexa is going for about $50.

Are. You. Kidding. Me?

We already have other Barbie castles in the basement. In fact, I learned that the Barbie Twelve Dancing Princesses castle that we originally paid about $40 for is now going for $150 on eBay. These things are cheaply made…probably for about $5 in China.

So I put together a plan that included my husband and eight year-old daughter who is “in-the-know” when it comes to Santa. First we visited several stores so Jenna could show me The Diamond Castle playset. When we couldn’t find it, I told her it wasn’t available anymore.

Then, we all went to Costco where we saw the Barbie airplane, and convinced Jenna it was the coolest Barbie toy ever. I purchased it the next day and stashed it in the super secret hiding place.

I thought we were good-to-go until a few weeks ago when Jenna said, “Mom, I know that I can still get a Diamond Castle playset for Christmas because Santa’s elves can make anything.”

Yikes! She out-smarted me on that one. I changed the subject to the absolute awesomeness of the Barbie airplane.

Then on Tuesday night, at an office family Christmas party with Santa Claus as the guest-of-honor, I got another whammy.

After a chat with Santa, Jenna reported that Santa said the elves were working on her Diamond Castle playset and Barbie Alexa.

“What about the Barbie airplane?” I asked.

“I want that next year mom,” she replied.

Dang that Santa Claus!

After conferring with several family members, friends and associates, we devised a plan.

One of Santa’s elves would call Jenna and leave her a voicemail message. He would tell her that when Santa returned to the North Pole after the party he told the elves that he needed a Diamond Castle playset. However, Santa didn’t know that the elves weren’t making Diamond Castle playsets this year. So Santa told the elves that Jenna had been a very good girl, so to make her some other really cool toys that he would be deliver to her house for Christmas morning.

I recruited a co-worker to perpetuate this white lie to my daughter as “Joey,” an elf at Santa’s workshop. With script in hand, he called the house and left the message.

That night, we told Jenna that we had received a call from the North Pole. She was very excited as she listened to the message from Joey-the-elf. In fact, she was so excited that it took three times of listening to the message and then further explanation from me to help her understand that The Diamond Castle playset wasn’t going to happen.

And guess what? She was okay with it because she knew Santa was loading up his sleigh with other good stuff for her. Mission accomplished!

I was feeling like mother-of-the-year for resolving this issue in such a fine manner. Sure, it took some lying and deception. But hey, it was all in the spirit of Christmas.

Of course that feeling was short-lived. Today, on the way to her Christmas concert choir rehearsal, Jenna said to me, “Mom, I think Santa is bringing me a Barbie airplane from Christmas. And a princess kitchen.”

“What?” I responded, slightly panicked. “A princess kitchen?”

“Yes, mom. I had to add that to my list because they aren’t making The Diamond Castle playsets this year,” she continued. “And I KNOW that the elves are making kitchens because I’ve seen them in the stores.”

Gulp!

Brilliance!

2010-12-13T20:48:00.000-08:00

My five year-old keeps insisting that "Mom is the boss...not Dad". I've always known that she is brilliant! :)

Performance With Purpose

2010-11-19T20:46:00.000-08:00

Last week my five year-old and I had a date to the dollar store with some money she received from her great grandma. As we were driving to perform this most important task, we had the following conversation:

Jenna (out of the blue): Mom, President Obama is out of town.

Me: He is? Where did he go…India?

Jenna: I don’t know what it is called. Some place with lots of monkeys.

Me: Monkeys? How do you know that?

Jenna: I saw it on the news…DUH!

Sadly, my five year-old is more “up” on current events than many adults I know.

I like to stay informed on current events. I enjoy reading both non-fiction and fiction books. On occasion, I even get to watch a documentary on TV. Knowledge gained from information and experience is power. And when you have power, you can have influence. Hopefully, we can all use our influence for the greater good.

I recently read a book named Influence by Maddy Dychtwald. The author refers to a 2007 study that found Fortune 500 companies with more women board members had a higher return on equity by more than 50 percent. Another study conducted showed that companies with more women on the board and in senior management performed better and saw their stock prices improve more.

Why? Wendy Beecham, CEO of the Forum for Women Entrepreneurs & Executives, says "Studies have shown there are different way of approaching problems, so the more diversity you have, with regards to both skill sets and and culture, the greater your chances of success."

To quote my five year-old... "DUH!"

Women have so much to offer any organization! And it’s been that way from the very beginning of time. Eve didn’t come along after Adam to just pick out paint colors and rearrange the furniture. She was there right at the start, taking an active part in the world. Her role as a woman was critical to the successful future of the entire human race!

I am so impressed by women who use their talents and strengths to make a difference. I love women who act with a purpose. I applaud women who get involved schools, community events, church groups, politics and charitable organizations. I respect women who can achieve work/life balance as they carefully manage a family and career. I admire women who go beyond their comfort zones to improve themselves and help others.

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I have pondered my many blessings along with opportunities for growth. One of my greatest challenges has been achieving balance as a mom + career woman. And yet, it is managing those challenges that has helped me stay focused on what is most important and create a life with true meaning.

I resolve to be an influence for good. I will strive to perform with a purpose.

And I promise to take more trips to the dollar store with my five year-old so we can discuss the current events of the day and ultimately make the world a better place.

Mom Music

2010-11-14T18:23:00.000-08:00

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would tell you they didn’t like the lyrics to the songs you listened to on the radio? It’s come full-circle for me…but instead of my mom saying something about it, now it’s my daughter.

Last week I’m in the car with my girls and “I Like It” by Enrique Iglesias comes on the radio. So I turn it up and start singing along when my 8 year-old asks, “Mom, you like this song?”

Me: Yep

Lauren: But Mom, it’s not a nice song.

Me: Not nice...why?

Lauren: Because it says “Your boyfriend is on vacation and he doesn’t have to know.”

Me: Oh. Sorry. I guess I wasn’t paying attention.

***Gulp!***

And this is not the first time she's called me out on my music. The other day she got on my case about “Pump It” by the Black-Eyed Peas on my iPod because of a couple of swear words. Not the really bad swear words...just the semi-bad swear words.

So the good news is that my daughter is aware that not all music is appropriate. The bad news is that my daughter is telling me that MY music is inappropriate.

I should be recording these conversations so when she is 16 years-old I can just play them back when I’m scolding her for listening to some lame hip-hop song. With my luck, she’ll develop a love for country music and we’ll be stuck listening to songs about trucks and turkeys and farms and feuds.

Of course I am doing my best to help her appreciate the greatest music decade ever…the 80s. So far I haven’t had much luck. I get ridiculed when I crank up an 80s tune and sing along.

The reality of the situation is that I'm in a lose-lose situation when it comes to listening to music with my kids around. I'm either getting called to repentance or mocked.

I've thought about switching over to some really boring audio book that they have to listen to while we're in the car. But that might put me, the driver, to sleep...and that would be bad.

So this week I'm turning off the radio so we can have impromptu spelling bees and math equations while we're cruising around. Or, I'll talk to them in Spanish the entire time we're in the car and make them guess what I'm saying.

After a few days of that torture they'll be begging me to turn on the radio for some "mom music".

Roller Skating Days

2010-10-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

I took my girls to a skating party this week. Walking into the rink brought back of flood of memories from my roller skating days at Pooh’s Park in College Station, Texas.

I remember doing the limbo. I remember doing the speed skate. I remember occasionally being asked to do the couple skate. I remember being jealous of the kids who had skates with the lights under the boots.

Those were the days. Good times.

But a lot has changed in 30 years.

For starters, about half of the kids were racing around the rink on Razor scooters. Other kids were cruising with inline skates. Only a few people had the traditional roller skates that I loved back in the late 70s and early 80s.

Of course the sound system is better now. The lights and special effects are definitely more high tech. But the arcade didn't have my favorites Ms Pacman and Frogger. And the snack bar didn't offer Frito Pie. Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen Frito Pie on a menu EVER here in Utah. (God Bless Texas!)

But the real difference was the music. It just ain’t what it used to be. There was no “Disco Inferno”. There was no “YMCA”. There was no “Whip It”.

Come on, people! These kids need some real skating tunes! How can today’s youth truly appreciate the skating experience with music by Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga?

It’s a shame. We may not be able to bring about world peace or solve the global economic crisis, but we can certainly improve the music being played at skating rinks today.

Unfortunately, I have no time to tackle this issue. Or any other issue, for that matter. My days are filled with office work and my evenings are packed with checking homework, doing laundry, and fulfilling church assignments. On the weekends I’m trying to cram in everything that didn’t get done in the week.

I'm just trying to keep my head above water these days. It's been a crazy year and sanity doesn't appear to be headed my way any time soon.

I think I'll make an iPod playlist with all of my favorite roller skating disco tunes. That will make me feel better. Then next time I take the kids to the rink I can listen my personal "oldies but goodies" skating music. And perhaps I'll even sneak in a Frito Pie.

Holiday Shopping Drama

2010-10-24T20:31:00.000-07:00

I feel compelled to do Christmas shopping. And I hate Christmas shopping. Loathe may be a better word to describe my attitude about the holiday shopping season.

I can’t stand the long lines. I detest the packed parking lots. I refuse to pay shipping & handling costs for online purchases. I will not get up at 4 a.m. to breakdown the doors of a big box store the day after Thanksgiving.

I just want to get it over with. My true “blue” personality wants to cross the task off of my checklist. If I could have all of the gifts stashed away in my super-secret hiding place by Halloween I would be quite content.

But that just won’t work. Why?

Because I have a hard time passing up a great deal. As much as I hate Christmas shopping, I’m a sucker for a good buy. And you and I both know that there are going to be some fabulous offers from retailers during the next two months.

If I get everything I was planning to purchase for Christmas before Halloween, do I have the self control to not buy anything else holiday-related for the next two months?

What if a super great deal comes along on Black Friday?

Perhaps one of my gotta-buy items will go on sale at a better price after Halloween?

On the other hand, if I don’t get it now will it be out-of-stock later?

Oh, the dilemma! I can feel the anxiety coursing through my veins! Quick…someone pass me a Xanax!

I know that I should just focus on “the reason for the season,” but it’s only October. It’s a bit too early to put out the nativity set (although I’ve seen those in the stores as well).

In my la-la land perfect world, I would forego all of the holiday shopping and gifts for a family vacation. We would hop on a plane December 23rd and head for the resorts of southern Mexico singing “Feliz Navidad” the whole way. Christmas day would be spent lounging in the white sand underneath a palm tree, my husband massaging my feet, my girls body-surfing the waves, and my cabana boy bringing me margaritas (non-alcoholic, of course).

Yet, the question remains. If I had my dream...a family Christmas vacation on the beach…could I (would I) resist the allure of bargain basement prices on “must-have” items that come along during the holiday shopping season?

It has become clear that I simply must take an exotic vacation beginning Columbus Day through the New Year’s Day holiday. Not only will I be more relaxed, but in the end it may be less expensive.

Women & College

2010-10-17T17:51:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Utah is last in terms of the percentage of female students enrolled in college?

I did not know that until this week. I was stunned. So I went online to learn more.

According to the Utah Women and Education Project (UWEP), 49 percent of higher education students in the state are women. However, national statistics show that 57 percent of college students are women. (Go here http://www.uvu.edu/wep/ for more info on their research.)

A recent report on KSL-TV in Salt Lake City stated that one part of the study’s early findings shows that cultural attitudes might be influencing young Utah women to skip higher education altogether. The perception among these women is they don’t plan on having a career after marriage.

Let me write that again…young women don’t PLAN having a career after marriage.

So what exactly is the PLAN for these young women?

How can a young woman possibly know what the next 50 or so years will bring?

Here are my thoughts regarding young women who want to forego a college education:

Thought #1: Have a personal financial plan that is more than a hope and a dream. And a back-up plan. And a back-up plan for your back-up plan. Have short-term and long-term plans.

Maybe you won’t get married. Maybe you’ll get married and it won’t last. Maybe you’ll be like me and not get married until you’re 27. Maybe you’ll marry an awesome guy that doesn’t get an awesome paycheck. Maybe you'll raise a family during the next great recession.

Guess what? A man is not a financial plan.

Thought #2: College brings about much more than a diploma.

Sure, a diploma is a great way to get a job. But it's much more than a piece of paper.

The societal benefits of a college education include a healthier lifestyle, increased community involvement, elevated interest in social issues, and crucial communications skills.

Societies with higher levels of education are safer and have less poverty. Research shows that educated women live longer and enjoy a higher quality of life.

Thought #3: Cultural attitudes may need adjusting.

I may be making a BIG assumption here, but do cultural attitudes really mean the LDS faith when it comes to women in the workforce in Utah? (And yes, I consider myself among the active LDS.)

If that be the case, then why isn’t the “culture” embracing the counsel of our leaders when it comes to getting a college education?

President Gordeon B. Hickley Hinckley said in a talk to the youth of the LDS Church in November 2000 that they need to “Be Smart”. Below is a direct quote from the talk he gave 10 years ago:

“You are moving into the most competitive age the world has ever known. All around you is competition. You need all the education you can get. Sacrifice a car; sacrifice anything that is needed to be sacrificed to qualify yourselves to do the work of the world.

[The Lord] wants you to train your minds and hands to become an influence for good as you go forward with your lives. And as you do so and as you perform honorably and with excellence, you will bring honor to the Church, for you will be regarded as a man or woman of integrity and ability and conscientious workmanship.

Be smart. The Lord wants you to educate your minds and hands, whatever your chosen field. Whether it be repairing refrigerators, or the work of a skilled surgeon, you must train yourselves. Seek for the best schooling available. Become a workman of integrity in the world that lies ahead of you.”

If you are LDS (and even if you aren't) there is a church website that helps young people who are pursuing higher education. You can check it out at http://besmart.com/.

I do not want to ignore the fact that many women want to stay home with their children. Motherhood is a wonderful and noble profession. It's probably the most important job a woman can ever occupy. A college education can help you become a better mother because it helps you become a stronger person.

A study commissioned by the Utah System of Higher Education (UHSE) found that 99 percent of Utahns sampled believe that higher education is important. Yet, the same study showed that only 39 percent believe that females need a four-year degree or higher.

Why do we have such low of expectations for the young women in Utah when it comes to a college education?

Sad. Very sad.

We live in a country and in an era where women have every opportunity available to them to get a higher education, and so many young ladies just set it aside. There are women in parts of our world today who are maimed or even killed in their pursuit of a basic education…never mind a higher education.

We need women who have strong minds. We need women to become more involved in political and societal issues. We need women who are self-sufficient. We need women who can teach children and each other.

Let’s set a higher standard for our young women. If you are in a position of influence – a parent, a teacher, a coach, a religious leader, a caring neighbor – encourage the young ladies in your life to go to college.

In the words of President Hinckley:

“There can be no doubt, none whatever, that education pays. Do not short-circuit your lives. If you do so, you will pay for it over and over and over again.”

Simplicity is the Ultimate Sophistication

2010-10-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

“Simplicity is an acquired taste. Mankind, left free, instinctively complicates life.” -Katherine F. Gerould

The other night while I was making a quick dinner of quesadillas and tomato soup, my 8 year-old matter-of-factly said, “Stay-at-home moms usually make fancier dinners than working moms. Stuff we usually eat for dinner is what they eat for lunch.”

I know she didn’t mean to hit me with a guilt trip, but it landed straight between the eyes. Just as I was getting ready to respond with a comment about not having time to spend an hour making dinner after I get home from work, she asks:

“Why don’t stay-at-home moms fix their hair or put on make-up?”

Wowza!

The guilt-trip left as quickly as it came.

I’m rarely at a loss for words, but this was one of those moments when my mind went into overdrive while I was trying to figure out the best thing to say.

After all, on the weekends it’s not uncommon for me to be in my pajamas through mid-morning and not make myself “presentable” until mid-afternoon.

If I didn’t have to be dressed with hair done and make-up applied by 7:30 a.m. every day, would I?

I’d like to say “yes”, but the truthful answer is “probably not”…especially if the only people who were going to see me that day were my kids and some of their friends.

I managed to make some sort of reply like “Honey, sometimes moms get so busy at home they don’t have time to fix their own hair or put on make-up.”

Then my mind went to President Uchtdorf’s recent LDS conference talk on simplifying your life. For me, a working mom, simplifying my life means preparing quick dinners during the work week. For a stay-at-home mom, it may mean throwing their hair into pony tail and not worrying about make-up.

No need to feel guilty about either one.

Why make ourselves busy…fretting over things that are here today and gone tomorrow? We should free ourselves from those tasks that are not necessary in our day-to-day lives.

Leonardo da Vinci said “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

I think I’ll use that line next time I serve a not-so-gourmet dinner of mac-and-cheese with a side of apple sauce.

Take A Hike!

2010-09-29T20:48:00.000-07:00

In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks. ~John Muir

For some reason we’ve literally adhered to the advice “Take A Hike.” In the last few months we’ve become a family of hikers. Long hikes and short hikes. Tough hikes and easy hikes. We actually even hiked in the winter this summer when we went below the equator on a family trip to Peru.

Here is a photo journal of our family hikes in 2010:

Brian Head, Utah:

Grand Canyon, Arizona (North Rim):

Uinta Mountains, Utah (Mirror Lake):

Ensign Peak, Salt Lake City, Utah:

Silver Lake, Big Cottonwood Canyon, Utah:

Machu Picchu, Peru:

Waterfall Canyon, Ogden, Utah:

Adams Canyon, Layton, Utah:

Watch Out Suze!

2010-09-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

“Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are.” –Bertolt Brecht

If you haven’t been a victim of the economy in some way, shape or form in the last two years then you’re probably living on an island in la-la land. Even if your income has remained steady, I’m betting that the value of your home has dropped or your retirement plan has been rocked. The economic downfall has changed all the rules of the game.

My career is marketing. I’ve been working for financial services companies since 1998. It’s the “great recession” and I’m in the unique situation of trying to convince people they need a loan from my financial institution. I love a challenge, and I’ve got a big one.

Let’s face it...right now most people should not be taking on new debt. However, taking on a new loan doesn’t necessarily mean taking on new debt.

If you have a mortgage, if you have an auto loan, if you have a home equity line, if you have a credit card...take a few minutes and check out your rates. Chances are you can refinance those loans to a new lower rate and/or shorter term. If you choose the right financial institution, you can probably get balance transfer fees waived or closing costs reduced.

The other day I talked to a friend who will save $700 in interest over the life of her auto loan because she re-financed to a lower rate. Ka-Ching!

Refinancing a loan is not difficult. You can do most of the process over the phone or online. Trust me...financial institutions are more than eager to help bring your loan over from the competition. They will make it easy on you.

I’m a coupon clipper. I’m a thrift-store shopper. I’m a bargain hunter. I’d like to think that I’m a half-way decent negotiator. Take a little advice from a friendly blogger who loves a money-saving deal:

Spend a few minutes figuring out your existing loan rates and then research your refinancing options. After lowering your loan rates, apply the same amount of money each month to your loan payments that you have been paying all along. Not only will you save big money on interest, but you’ll also pay off your loan sooner!

(Watch out Suze Orman…I’m after your job!)

(Just kidding.)

(But if you need a sidekick, just let me know.)

Life is Just a Bag of Trail Mix

2010-09-24T19:53:00.000-07:00

I’m the kind of person that picks out and eats the almonds, cashews and M&M’s in the bag of trail mix. I make no apologies for my behavior. Life’s too short to eat raisins and frankly I don’t need the extra calories from the peanuts after eating all of the other stuff.

Unfortunately, trail mix has a disproportionate amount of raisins and peanuts compared to my favorites. Such is life.

My momma never said that “Life is like a bag of trail mix.” But I just did. And I’m a momma.

There are the sweet moments like family vacations and holiday celebrations. There are the savory moments like job promotions and buying a new house. And then there are boring moments. Lots of them. Actually, they seem much longer than moments. Hours, days or even weeks filled with necessary yet unexciting activities and responsibilities.

As you may have guessed, I’m dealing with the post-vacation blues. We’ve been home less than two weeks and I’m already thinking that we need to go somewhere. Soon. But then I look at our personal financial statement and remember we’re outta money because of the 11-day trip we just took to Peru. In the trail mix of life, that vacation was a ginormous bag of M&M’s.

So my life has returned to raisins and peanuts. I’m not complaining. We never slow down long enough for things to get stale. Just throw me a few M&M’s, cashews and almonds every so often and I’ll be fine.

It's Choice, Not Chance

2010-09-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

“It’s choice, not chance, that determines your destiny.”
– Jean Nidetch

A few weeks ago I was with a group of career women discussing work/life issues. Almost immediately, one of the ladies said, “I don’t know how to respond when someone asks, ‘How can you leave your children every day and go to work?’”

For the love of Pete! How absurd is that question?

Why must some people make it sound as if us working moms treat our kids like cats? (“I just give them plenty of food and water before I leave the house and they’re fine…they don’t even miss me!”)

Most women work for the same reason that men work…to provide for our families; not because we dislike spending time with our children or because we’re feeding a shoe fetish. In addition to bringing home the bacon, many women work because they are darn good at what they do and enjoy it.

Notice that men never get asked about leaving their children to go to work. Even when they have a garage full of toys and spend every weekend on the golf course, if they hold down a full-time job and get a regular paycheck they are considered a responsible husband and father.

If you are plagued with the question, do NOT respond, “I don’t have a choice.”

If you have enough freedom in your life to read this blog, then you have a choice.

Absolutely and positively you have a choice.

Getting (and staying) married is a choice. Having children is a choice. Where you live is a choice.

If you love your spouse, and the two of you have children, then you need to make some big decisions. (Kind of like choices within your choice.)

Where are you going to live? Rent or own or move in with your parents? How about staying in a van down by the river?
How are you going provide the basic necessities of life? What about health insurance? What about retirement?
Where will your children go to school? What about college? Missions?
How will you help your children develop their talents? Do they have special needs?
What are your childcare options?
What kind of career are you qualified for? Your spouse?
Do you have an adequate number of shoes in your closet? (just kidding…needed to lighten up for a second)
Do your financial needs/wants require one or two incomes?
If your family requires one income, who will work?
If your family requires two incomes, how do you coordinate schedules?
Are you willing to give up your discretionary time? Discretionary income?
Can you stick to a budget? How’s your credit?
Who does the cooking? Cleaning? Laundry? Yardwork? Carpool? Parent-teacher conferences? Pediatrician visits?

The choices and decisions go on and on.

Choose wisely.

Choose what is right for you and your family.

Do not compare your situation to others.

Always remember: Each person and each family has unique circumstances.

You do not have the same spouse.

You do not have the same children, with the same ages, and the same needs.

You do not have the same education levels and skills.

You do not have the same opportunities and challenges.

You probably do not even have all of the same goals.

But you DO have a choice. And I recommend that you choose to do what's best for you and ignore anyone who asks you to justify your choices.

Guilt & Anxiety

2010-09-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

Early in my career I would travel quite often. My company was based in Utah and my assigned marketing territories were in California, Arizona, Texas, Louisiana and Puerto Rico. On average I was flying 2-3 times per month over the course of about 3 years.

Traveling all over the country was great fun when I was single. I had every loyalty card known to man, so I would get upgrades to first class, free upgrades on rental cars, and awesome perks at the hotels.

After I was married, business trips weren't as much fun. So what if I had row 7 seats behind 3rd base at the first-ever Arizona Diamondbacks Baseball game? I wanted to be home with my man. (I know, I know...it's kinda sappy. After all, I was a newlywed. But I must say, 12+ years later I still feel the same way.)

It got worse after I had kids. MUCH WORSE. I was traveling less at this point, but I HATED any business trip. Each time I had to go I had an emotional meltdown. I would feel tremendous guilt and get very anxious. I would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic...and that was before I would leave town! I would arrive at the airport with red, puffy eyes from crying the entire way from home.

Funny thing is that I found out later that some people in my office thought I was intimidating. (LOL!) If they could have only seen my oh-so-not-professional, homesick moments while on the road.

I felt SO INCREDIBLY GUILTY about leaving my baby. I was already dealing with the working-mom guilt that came from putting my child in daycare, so going on a business trip was just adding fuel to the fire. I was a mess.

An interesting side note, I felt just as guilty the first time I left our daughter to go away for an anniversary weekend with my husband. In fact, I probably felt MORE GUILTY because I was going away on an optional vacation and not a mandatory business trip.

I'm 40 years-old, and I've just recently figured out the difference between GUILT and ANXIETY. I no longer feel guilty about my life as a working mom. In fact, I really enjoy having a career.

I have learned so much about people and relationships through my job. Working full-time has forced me to become a more balanced person. I know what matters most, and that's how I plan each and every day. There's little room for fluff.

Anxious about being away from the kids? Yes, I still feel anxious. But if you know me, then you know that I get anxious about the kids getting off at the right bus stop every day. It's the normal I'm-a-mom-so-it's-my-right-to-be-anxious kind of anxiety.

I've stopped the guilt trips. Nothing good comes from them anyway. And honestly, I can't function on sleepless nights. I have way too many things to do!

Mushy-Brain Syndrome

2010-09-12T20:37:00.001-07:00

I'm living with mushy-brain syndrome. It's a side effect of long vacations. I'm on day 9 of our 11-day trip to Peru, and I can barely put two sentences together.

I. am. so. relaxed. :)

The moment that I think of my job, or any sort of responsibility enters into my mind, I dismiss it without guilt. Without any cares. Without any worries. Without any stress.

***SIGH***

I will admit that the first couple of days I kept looking for my Blackberry. But it's been safely tucked away in a drawer...and hasn't been turned on since we boarded the plane in Miami more than a week ago.

I didn't even pack a pair of high-heeled shoes. All of my dry-clean only clothes are hanging in the closet back home. Except for a couple of hours at the Lima Temple and MTC church services, it's been 100% casual 100% of the time.

***BLISS***

The highlight of this trip was a 3-day trip to Cuzco and Machu Picchu. I loved every second of that adventure. Sharing it with my husband, girls and parents was an incredible experience.

I'm quite content living with mushy brain syndrome. In fact, I'm almost to the point that I don't miss my shoes. (ALMOST. I haven't been gone THAT long.)

I'll be back to reality soon enough. The Skechers will go into semi-retirement, the high-heels will be dusted off, and I'll force my brain to start functioning again.

Until then...

Bittersweet Day

2010-09-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

I've already given you my thoughts on back-to-school. Watching my two girls get on the bus together this morning was so bittersweet. All the way to the bus stop Jenna kept saying "I'm so excited to ride the bus" and "I'm so happy to go to Kindergarten."

We followed the bus up to the school so we could walk her to class. When we met her on the sidewalk, she promptly told me "No mom...Lauren (her 3rd grade sister) will take me to class."

"Please?" I begged. Pathetic, yes...but I really wanted that mommy moment.

I would expect no less from my super-independent five year-old. After a few minutes of pleading, she agreed that we could walk her to class.

A couple more photos, and she sent us on our way. Mom and Dad were no longer necessary. Jenna had fulfilled her obligation to let us fuss over her on this big day, and she wanted nothing else to do with us for the next 3 hours.

I held it together. My voice only cracked once as the tears welled-up in my eyes. I'm determined to be as strong as my five year-old.

But I can't stop thinking about her! How I wish that I could be a fly on the wall in that Kindergarten class today!

Back-to-School Thoughts from a Working Mom

2010-08-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

I’m not thrilled about the kids heading back to school. I would be fine if my girls could enjoy another month of summer vacation. And it’s not because we spend our mornings sleeping late, or our afternoons soaking up the sun by the pool. It’s about the evenings.

I work full-time outside of the home, so regardless of the month on the calendar I’m up at 6 a.m., out the door by 8 a.m., and don’t return until 6 p.m. During the school year, I head straight home to make dinner, inspect backpacks, check homework, give baths, get clothes ready for the next day, and put the kids to bed by 8:30 p.m.

But the summer is different. Aaaaahhhh...the summer.

***Sigh***

In the summer, we don’t rush through our evenings, checking items off a task list. If we don’t have dinner ‘til 8:00 it’s no big deal.

Backpacks? Homework? Bedtime? Fuhgettabout it.

(Smelly, dirty kids do require strictly enforced nightly baths...even in the summer.)

With a 40-hour work week I may not get to enjoy the lazy days of summer, but I do love my easy-going evenings in June, July and August.

Today when I dropped off my 8 year-old at her first day of third grade, I had to hold back the tears as I walked back to my car. I always get emotional on the first day of school. And it's not because I won’t spend the next several hours with her. Regretfully, being away from my kids all day long is nothing new for me. It’s the milestone in the moment.

But in all honesty, I think some of my emotion comes from the fact that it’s the-beginning-of-the-end of summer.

I have enough structure in my life during the work day. I need flexible evenings where we can focus on fun and relaxing family time. I need time to unwind from a hectic work day. Nothing puts office politics and projects into perspective than hanging out with my kids. They are the balancing force in my life.

And when I say "force", I mean that literally.

Just tonight my 5 year-old had an self-induced, accidental overdose of Triaminic for her little cough. There's nothing like a frantic call to poison control on behalf of your child to help you realize what's really important.

Fortunately all is well. Unfortunately, it will probably just get crazier from this point forward.

Good-bye lazy summer evenings. We had a great time together while it lasted.

Hello schoolwork and bedtime. Please don’t be offended that I’m not happy to see you.

I Wonder Where She Gets It

2010-08-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

The other day we received a letter from my 8 year-old daughter’s new school teacher. In the letter the teacher introduced herself and said that she was excited to meet our student, etc. I thought it was a nice gesture from her soon-to-be third grade teacher.

Without our knowledge, our daughter wrote a return letter to her new teacher. She put it in an envelope, sealed, addressed and stamped it before my husband and I even knew what was going on.

I found the sealed letter on the kitchen counter, so I asked her what it was about.

Me: Did you write a letter to your new teacher?

Lauren: Yes. She sent us a letter so I thought that I’d write her back.

Me: That’s nice of you. What did you write about in the letter?

Lauren: I just told her about me, what I like to do, and that I’m excited to meet her too.

I don’t know why I think that’s so funny, but I do. After all, what third grader just writes their new teacher a letter the week before school starts?

As my husband said, obviously our child is trying to "get in good" with the teacher from the get-go.

And I suppose it’s in her genes. After all, Public Relations is a BIG part of my career. But this wasn’t a calculated PR move. This wasn’t even the result of parental encouragement to charm a new teacher. It was a sincere letter from a young student to her new teacher.

I’ve been known to say that everything...every event...every statement...every action...is a PR move. All of our communication – verbal, electronic, body language, appearance – all of it reflects who we are and what we want others to believe about us. Rarely does someone say or do something publicly with absolutely no regard of how it will be perceived by others.

Unless you’re 8 years-old. If you’re 8, then you simply write your teacher a letter telling her that you’re excited to start school because you truly are excited to start school. Nothing complicated. That’s it. What you see is what you get.

How refreshing!

Politically Correct vs. Brutally Honest

2010-08-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

Today I had to dress-up for work. Essentially, that means rather than business casual it was business professional. I wore a skirt, nylons and even a jacket...and it’s August!!!

I didn’t think it was a huge departure from how I normally dress for work until this comment from my 8 year-old this morning.

Lauren: Wow Mom, you look like an office lady today.

Me: Well, that’s good because I work in an office. How do I usually look?

Lauren: Not like that.

If you need an ego boost, don’t look to your kids. It’s not that they are trying to keep you grounded...they just haven’t developed that "politically correct" filter that keeps us out of trouble as adults.

And aren’t we glad. As working professionals, we need someone to be brutally honest and give it to us straight.

I had a CEO of a company tell me once that only her teenage kids truly tell her "how it is" when it comes to her presentation style. Of course, I agreed. (And not just because that was the politically correct thing to do.)

Giving feedback to co-workers can be such a tricky thing at the office. We want to appear smart, yet thoughtful; well-informed, yet open to ideas.

Is that how it is at home around the kitchen table with kids? Not at my house!

I can’t recall my kids ever saying: "Mom, I really appreciate the fact that you’re helping us eat healthier with this big bowl of steamed broccoli. And it’s obvious that you spent a lot of time preparing this amazing dinner. However, I need some time to consider the broccoli option. Can I think it over and get back to you tomorrow?"

A more likely scenario at our house: "Gross! I hate broccoli! Don’t get it near me or I’ll gag. Did you really think I'd want to eat that awful stuff?"

I love my kids. They keep me humble. My girls let me know how I can be a better person without any concern for political correctness. And if their brutal honesty hurts my feelings, then they are getting a big bowl of steamed broccoli for dinner!

Mother-Daughter Bonding

2010-08-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

I wouldn’t classify myself as an animal lover, but we do have a 10 year-old cat named Frasier that I’m quite fond of. And when we make it over to the Morgan County Fair each August, I like to check out the bunny rabbits. The lop-eared rabbits are my favorites. They’re just so darn cute!

The only problem with visiting the bunnies is that they’re usually busy...if you know what I mean. Honestly, I don’t think two rabbits can co-exist in a cage without some sort of assault taking place.

Such was the case Thursday night. After work, I picked up the girls from daycare and we drove over to the fair. We were having a great time looking at the adorable bunnies when a couple of rabbits started doing what they’re famous for.

There I am, having a fun, semi-educational moment with my children and "Thumper" starts going for it. I guess that we saw a bit more of an "exhibit" than we bargained for at the fair.

I think that I’ll recommend to the fair organizers that they post a disclaimer before entering the area.

WARNING: What you are about to see could be disturbing and not appropriate for children or their "city-girl" mothers.

Fortunately, I was able to distract my daughters with some chickens on the other side of the aisle. Unfortunately, that act became a distraction to everyone else in the building because my four year-old who is terrified of chickens started screaming.

We quickly moved on and went past the hogs located in the next shed. I am happy to report that "Wilbur" and his pals were not participating in any inappropriate activities. They looked quite content just laying around in the straw and mud, stinking up the joint.

Obscene rabbits. Scary chickens. Smelly pigs. What else could a mother and her daughters ask for on a girls’ night out?

In the end, the evening was a success with the help of some snow cones, temporary tattoos and a first place sticker on my eight year-old daughter’s artwork in the Junior Crafts division.

Next time we're looking for some mother-daughter bonding, I think we’ll just go shopping.

Certain Uncertainty

2010-07-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

The other day it occurred to me that I was truly getting old when I realized that I had "perspective". The kind of perspective that my parents preached to me about in my youth. The type of perspective that my professional mentors talked to me about early in my career.

It was bound to happen. After all, I did have my 40th birthday earlier this year. And as I'm learning from my aches and pains, 40 is more than just a number.

It’s the sort of perspective when someone is making a mountain out of a mole hill and you think to yourself..."this is really unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Take a few steps back and look at the big picture."

It reminds me of when I finally delivered the blow about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy to my oldest daughter. She was devastated. Tears flowed freely. It was a somber day at the Windley house.

It’s been several months since that dark day, and now we both look back at it and laugh. She no longer believes that the world is a horrible, cruel place where parents lie to their children about flying reindeer and fairies. She’s in on the big secret, and she’s playing along for her younger sister.

I remember early in my career thinking that I was being treated unfairly because a co-worker with my same job title and responsibilities earned a higher salary than me. Even though she had ten years of experience to my two years on the job, I felt the company was taking advantage of me. Now that I’m 16+ years into my career, I realize that I was wrong. Experience counts.

This crazy thing we call life is full of certain uncertainty. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking on a proverbial earthquake...unsure of where the ground is going to move next. In the past couple of years I’ve had several experiences, both personal and professional, that I didn’t see coming. Perhaps I just wasn’t paying attention. Or maybe I wasn’t "in tune" with my spiritual side. It could be that I’m a couple of cards short of a full deck.

I believe that certain uncertainty is God’s way of keeping us humble. Just when we think we have things figured out, the wind changes direction and we have to adjust our sails. If you choose to fight the wind, it will rip your sails and you’ll sink. (Dramatic, I know...but I’m trying to make a point.)

Life is just a bowl of cherries. Or chair of bowlies. Or something like that.

Someone said "Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff. And It’s All Small Stuff." And he wrote a book about it. And he made a lot of money with that book. If you’re sweating, then you need to read that book.

Perspective. I wasn’t looking for it, but apparently it was looking for me. Now that I have it, I hope that it sticks around.

Rolling with the Punches

2010-07-21T20:32:00.000-07:00

If you have young children, then you know that they will say whatever is on their minds. Kids have no filter.

“Mom, your bum is fat.”

“Dad, you have a hairy back.”

“Mom, you have lines on your face.”

“Dad, your teeth are yellow.”

To be a parent, you need to just roll with the punches. If you’re easily offended, parenting is not the job for you.

The same holds true for a career in marketing. If you can’t stand the heat, then you may want to check if there are any openings available in the accounting department. (Not that I don’t L-O-V-E the accounting team...you’re an awesome group of number-crunching geniuses!)

In my life there are rare private moments when I’m not parenting or marketing. I’m simply me. Like today...for a few moments I got away from the office to enjoy lunch with myself and my Blackberry.

Just as I get ready to dive into my burrito, an older gentleman in the next booth turns around, points to his friend, and said:

“He thinks you look like a prettier version of Ellen DeGeneres. Has anyone ever told you that before?”

Stunned, yet trying to be gracious, I responded:

“No…but thanks for the compliment.”

In my mind, I’m thinking: “Is that a compliment? I think so. Isn’t Ellen a CoverGirl spokesperson? You have to be pretty to sell make-up. How old is Ellen? I just turned 40...I’m sure Ellen is older than me. Wait a minute…isn’t Ellen a lesbian? Am I okay with a strange man telling me I look like someone who is a lesbian? Does it matter? No, it doesn’t matter...I’m fine with it. Hey, Ellen is a super successful talk-show host. I’m successful too...but not nearly on the level of Ellen. Do I look successful? After all, I’m professionally dressed. Doesn’t Ellen usually wear sneakers on her show? I’m wearing black sandals with high heels...and I really need to get a pedicure. Ellen is funny…me, not so much. I wonder how Ellen would feel about the comparison. She probably wouldn’t be too thrilled...I’m much chubbier than Ellen. Why would that man say I look like Ellen? Does he need glasses? He is old. Much older than me...and Ellen.”

How could a simple statement completely throw me into an oblivion of over analysis?

Why couldn’t I just take his remark for what it was...a compliment?

I’ll tell my kids they need to keep saying to me whatever comes their minds. Apparently, I still need to learn how to roll with the punches. As for my career...perhaps I should check what is available in the accounting department.

Apparently, Clothes Do Define A Man

2010-07-17T10:57:00.000-07:00

My parents are six months into a two-year mission in Peru. Last week they flew from Lima to the northeastern part of Peru to a city named Iquitos near the headwaters of the Amazon. During their travels they arranged for a tour of the Amazon river and jungle via boat. Their guide took them to a small native village so they could meet some of the indigenous people of the Amazon.

The tribe greeted my parents in their native dress...which turned out to be not much dress at all. In their culture, "less is more," and both the men and women simply wear skirts that go to about mid-thigh. Kids, prior to puberty, go al fresco.

The tribe warmly welcomed my parents...inviting my mom to dance with the women and making my dad an honorary tribal elder. My parents emailed us details and photos of their incredible visit to the Amazon.

Me: "Hey kids...come look at the photos that grandma sent us from their trip to the Amazon."

The family gathers around the computer to check out the pictures, and we get to a fuzzy photo of my mother dancing in a circle with the women. My daughters, ages eight and four, were not exactly sure what to make of the photo.

Me: What do you think of grandma dancing with those ladies?

Lauren (8): Those aren't ladies, they are men.

Me (pointing at their chests): I'm pretty sure they are ladies.

Lauren (confused): No mom, I think they are men.

Jenna (4, confident): Mom, they are men 'cause they don't shirts on.

Husband: (unable to comment because he is laughing so hard).

In my daughters' defense, the photo was fuzzy AND the defining female attributes of the tribe members had suffered from years of non-support.

Two lessons quickly learned:

1) If you want to be considered a lady, you need to keep your shirt on; and,

2) "Victoria's Secret" does not have a storefront on the Amazon.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea

2010-07-11T20:01:00.000-07:00

On a recent family vacation, a drive to the north rim of the Grand Canyon took us through Hildale, Utah and Arizona City, Colorado. I’ll admit we went off the main highway to drive through the towns so we could get a closer look at things. In the last year I’ve read Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall and Escape by Carolyn Jessop. Both books are about the experiences of these women living in this community.

As we drove through town, my eight year-old realized something wasn’t quite…normal.

Lauren: “Mom, why are those ladies wearing long dresses when it’s so hot outside?”

Me: “That’s how the ladies dress in this town.”

Lauren: “They look like pioneers.”

Me: “Yep.”

Lauren: “And all the men dress like cowboys.”

Me: “Yep.”

Lauren: “Hey Dad, I bet you’d like to live in this town because all the men get to dress like cowboys.”

A few seconds of silence…followed by my husband and me laughing hysterically.

Let it be said that we’re laughing at my daughter’s expense because she doesn’t understand what is going on in this town.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Hildale/Arizona City, it’s a religious community that practices polygamy (meaning, a man can have more than one wife). The people in that area adhere to strict standards and guidelines in every facet of their lives…including how they dress.

Of course our daughter demanded to know what was so funny, so my husband gave her an age-appropriate answer about the community and some of their beliefs.

Lauren: “Sounds like Warren Jeffs and his followers.”

Bingo!

I was surprised that Lauren knew so much about this subject. (Are the teachings of Warren Jeffs included in the second grade curriculum?)

Sometimes it’s just easier at the office. When I’m at work, I don’t have to answer tough questions such as:

“Where do babies come from?” or,

“Is Santa Claus real?” or,

“Why do women wear long, ugly dresses when it's 105 degrees outside?”

A college degree and 16 years of professional experience do not prep you for raising kids and responding to their questions.

If my company needs a press release explaining the benefits and features of a new product, then I’m your person.

If my child wants an explanation about how a hen determines if an egg she lays turns into a baby chick or a breakfast omelet, then I’m a little uncomfortable!

Yikes…maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to drive through Hildale/Arizona City after all.

Living A Double Standard

2010-07-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

Recently, at the end of a rather hectic day, I decided to reward myself with a soak in my jetted bathtub. Normally I lock the bathroom door and peacefully relax without interruption. However, on this particular evening my husband was away so I waited to put the girls to bed before running the water.

“Just in case” the girls needed me, I left the bathroom door open. Within two minutes after settling into the tub, my four year-old daughter walked into the room.

Jenna: “Hey mom…are you taking a bath?”

Me (sigh): “Yes.”

Jenna: “Why are you taking a bath mom?”

Me: “It was a crazy day.”

Even when I’m relaxing, I feel the need to be somewhat productive. So I had the shave gel and razor sitting on the side of the tub.

Jenna: “Hey mom…are you going to shave your legs?

Me: “Yes.”

Jenna: “I know how to shave legs.”

Me (surprised): “Really? How?”

Jenna: “Push the button on the can. The stuff comes out and you put it on your legs so you can take the hair off with your razor.”

I’ll admit that shaving one’s legs isn’t rocket science, but I was curious as to how my four year-old could describe the leg-shaving process since I was pretty sure she’d never watched me do it.

Me: “How do you know all that?”

Jenna: “TV. It’s on the commercials.”

This is one of those moments where my work/life balance goes completely outta whack.

The mother-in-me thinks: “Good grief…my four year-old has figured out how to shave her legs by watching the dumb TV. What else is she learning from boob tube?”

On the other hand, the marketing-professional-in-me thinks: “Wow…TV advertising really works! My four year-old recognizes the product and understands its functionality simply from watching television.”

So there I am…sitting in the tub…where I’m supposed to be relaxing. What am I thinking about? The good and the bad that comes along with TV advertising. And how my career perpetuates product promotion and education in the lives of everyday people.

On the one hand, I don’t want advertisers influencing my family. I want to control what they see and hear.

On the other hand, I want my company’s advertising to influence everyone else. I have an important message that needs to break through the clutter!

Am I living a double standard?

Probably.

In some way, shape or form…aren’t we all selling something?

We’re probably not selling shave gel. But we’re all selling a product, or service, or an idea, or a way of life, or a philosophy. We’re probably not all promoting on TV either. But we’re promoting via social media or in community gatherings or perhaps even good old-fashioned face-to-face conversations.

And if you don’t think anyone is paying attention to your messages, both verbal or non-verbal, then think again.

Just ask your young kids if they can explain to you how to shave your legs.

What I Already Know

2010-06-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking again. That in itself can be dangerous.

What I've been thinking about (again) is going back to school to get an MBA.

As strange as it may seem, I want to find out what I already know. I graduated with a Bachelor of the Arts degree from BYU in 1994 (Communications major and Business minor). I'm not sure what I really learned with that degree other than how to write papers and how to work in groups with people I don't particularly like.

Actually...both skills have proven to be very valuable during my career.

Much more enlightening than my college education is the subsequent 16 years of professional experience in the Marketing/Advertising/PR/Communications world. In particular, I've spent the last 11 years in financial services marketing...five years on the bank side and six years on the credit union side.

(And yes, believe me, they are two very different sides.)

So I want to find out what my Bachelor's Degree and 16 years of professional experience has not taught me.

Would I go to school and be completely lost because it's been so long since I've been in the classroom?

Or, would I kick-butt and get a 4.0 without any problem? (After all, there was no Internet when I went to college the first time. How hard could it be now?)

I guess there's only one way to find out.

I hate excuses, but there are some very good reasons that I'm not applying for MBA school at the moment.

The first two reasons have names: 1) Lauren; and, 2) Jenna. These two adorable girls call me "mom" and I cherish our time together. I already work full-time outside of the home, so taking another 10 hours in class plus study time just doesn't seem fair to my little chicas.

The third and fourth reasons: 3) Time; and, 4) Money. As previously mentioned, I already work a 40-hour week. And money...tuition costs are sky-high. I'd have to raid our girls' college funds to simply pay for the first semester.

The fifth and six reasons: 5) Writing more papers; and, 6) Working in groups with more people I don't particularly like. As much fun as that was the first time around, I actually get paid to do those things now. (Not that I don't just L-O-V-E all of my co-workers. They are great people! Hi guys!)

Looks like I'll be waiting a bit longer to find out what I already know.

Not A Natural Blonde

2010-06-25T18:20:00.000-07:00

I made my regular trip to the hair therapist yesterday...that would be Katie at the salon. My hair has issues that can only be resolved by sitting in a swivel chair for a couple of hours every six weeks.

For those of you who have only seen my photo, or who have known me for less than 15 years (such as my husband), you may not realize that I'm not a natural blonde.

Shocking..I know.

It's pure vanity on my part. Nothing is quite like the feeling of getting tin foil and chemicals layered throughout my hair.

Not that I don't love brunettes...or redheads...it's just that I've been blonde for so long now that I wouldn't recognize myself any other way.

In addition to not being a natural blonde, I'm not a Cosmopolitan reader. When I was sitting under the dryer last evening with my feet propped up just loving life, I picked up a copy of Cosmo in the magazine rack next to me. My first reaction was holy guacamole (or something similar).

Sure, I see the sexy photos and headlines in the checkout line at the store...but it's been 20+ years since I actually thumbed through an issue. The ads, the articles...everything...Yikes! I'm sure that I turned pink then red then purple...and that wasn't from the heat of the dryer!!!

From now on I'll stick to my usual family friendly or working professional media choices when I'm at the salon...or anyplace else as far as that goes.

Does anyone have a copy of Home and Garden or ForbesWoman I can borrow?

Too Many Dogs on the Leash

2010-06-20T20:59:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a photo of a professional dog walker? You know…those people who get paid to walk other people’s dogs around for exercise. The person walking the dogs is just trying to keep up without falling flat on their face.

I’m that proverbially dog walker. I have too many dogs on the leash. Any moment now I'm going to fall face-first into a pile of doggy-doo. And I don’t even own a dog!

Seriously…if I have to put one more “dog” on the leash I think it just may be the end. The end of what, I don’t know. My sanity? I think that already went bye-bye.

When the going gets tough, the tough goes for the jetted tub. On go the scented candles and the spa music. More stress = more candles. Some nights it looks like a bonfire.

Filling the jetted tub is "code" to my family, “Stay away…or I just may blow a major fuse.”

A few months ago I was filling the tub for a third time in a week. My eight year-old asked me, “Did you have another hard day at work mom?”

So I tell her, “Just like school, some days are better than others.”

It really is as simple as that…at home and at the office. We take the good with the bad, the excitement with the mundane, and the joy with the pain.

And if you’re like me…you take a couple of Advil with a Diet Coke.

Self-declared time-outs are a good thing for moms. Maybe it's not the jetted tub...perhaps it's the treadmill...or yoga...or chocolate...or lots more chocolate. Maybe it's watching Oprah...while eating chocolate.

Shoe shopping seems to be another good time-out for me.

Actually...if I could try on new shoes while soaking in the jetted tub surrounded by scented candles, I believe I could solve all of my problems. Probably solve all of the worlds problems while I'm at it.

***Sigh***

I think I'll go start the tub...

I'm A Vuvuzela

2010-06-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

I’ll admit it…I don’t watch much soccer.

My Twitter account ***exploded*** on Saturday when the U.S.A. scored a goal in the World Cup. So I turned on the game to support the red, white and blue. Then I thought I heard this swarm of angry hornets going through the house. Or could it be locusts? Do we even have locusts in Northern Utah?

Go to commercial. Buzzing gone. The annoying sound was coming from the TV.

Found out later it’s the Vuvuzelas at the World Cup. For the soccer illiterate such as myself, a “Vuvuzela” is the long, horn-like instrument that the fans blow at the games. When there are thousands of Vuvuzelas blowing at once, they make an irritating buzzing noise…like you are about to be attacked masses of mosquitoes.

So I guess it’s kind of ironic that I was annoyed by the “buzz”. Because honestly, that’s my career in a single-syllable word:

BUZZ!

I’m all about marketing/advertising/public relations/communications for my employer. It’s what I studied in college and it’s been my career for 16+ years. I create BUZZ. Lots of it.

I could actually be defined as a Vuvuzela.

So the question remains…am I creating a good buzz or annoying buzz?

(And no, I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs so I’m not just “getting buzzed”.)

I love this quote by Marie O’Connor:

“It is not how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised; the mosquito is swatted.”

Am I the mosquito or the bee?

Am I praiseworthy? Or, am I at risk of getting swatted?

I’m probably a hybrid of the two. A sort of beesquito, if you will.

Perhaps I should update my profile on LinkedIn:

“I am a professional Vuvuzela in the industry, creating a beesquito buzz for the organizations, products and services I represent.”

Dare me?

Guest Blogger at The Mama Bee

2010-06-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

I'm so excited! I was invited to be a guest blogger for the first time. Check out what I have to say over at http://themamabee.com/.

The Mama Bee is a great blog for working moms! I'm so honored to be a small part of it now.

Thanks!

Bottom of the Food Chain

2010-06-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

In the middle of reading Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham last night, my four year-old stops me for this very important conversation:

Jenna: Mom...guess what?

Me: What?

Jenna: Birds eat worms.

Me: Really? Birds eat worms?

Jenna: Yep...that's sad.

Me: Is it sad for the bird or the worm?

Jenna: The worm.

Me: Why is it sad for the worm?

Jenna: 'Cause worms are cute.

And there you have it...the not so pretty truth about being at the bottom of the food chain. Even if you're cute, you can be eaten alive.

The Good Samaritan Had A Few Bucks

2010-06-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

“No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he’d only had good intentions – he had money too.” ~ Margaret Thatcher

I was raised to believe that repaying financial obligations is a moral and ethical issue.

I guess that’s why I’ve been so shocked when people don’t feel it’s unethical to walk away from making payments on houses, cars, credit cards, and on, and on. Even when facing foreclosure or bankruptcy, there are folks who refuse to get a second job or go from a single-income household to a two-income household to pay the bills.

What are we teaching our children when we aren’t doing everything possible to fulfill our financial obligations?

I won’t lie…it isn’t easy dropping off the kids at daycare. Even now, after eight years, I drive away with a lump in my throat.

Even though I miss my daughters during the day, I hope my work ethic is teaching them invaluable life lessons about integrity and self-sufficiency.

If you’re faced with taking on a new job to help with household finances, try having this conversation with your children:

“When our family made the decision to buy this house (car, vacation, etc) we promised the bank/credit union that we would pay them back if they gave us a loan. We need to keep that promise because it’s the right thing to do. In order to keep that promise, mom (dad) needs to get another job to earn more money to pay the loan. Just because I’m not at home with you all day doesn’t mean that you aren’t my top priority. It might be tough at times, but we’ll all be okay.”

We must teach our children that choices have consequences.

If bringing another paycheck into the household isn’t an option, then we should consider other means to re-pay our debts. This may include selling the home or car or “toy”. It may mean moving to another city or state with higher-paying jobs. It may mean giving up family vacations and other “extras”.

On the other hand, what are we teaching our children when we tell them to not pick up the phone when a Collector calls about our mortgage, auto loan, or credit card bills? Or, we lie and tell the Collector that the check is in the mail?

Are we teaching our children that it’s okay to not pay someone money we owe them?

What are we teaching our children about responsibility and accountability?

Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Jobs are lost, businesses fail, severe illnesses attack. Do tough times release us from our financial obligations?

Are we justified in skipping out on a loan because someone “moved my cheese?”

Is walking away from a house or a car or a credit card bill unethical?

Are we givers or takers?

This is one of the best teaching moments we can give our children: When we see someone lying on the proverbial side of the road, and we are in a financial position to be the Good Samaritan and meet their needs.

This is why we should manage our finances wisely…so we can serve our families, neighbors, communities and even strangers with integrity.

I'm So Lame!

2010-05-31T18:41:00.000-07:00

I’m lame. WE'RE lame. SO LAME!

When I was single and newly married, we used to have plans EVERY three-day weekend. BIG PLANS!

We would go to Vegas or Jackson Hole or Yellowstone or Texas or California or Idaho… well, Idaho isn’t too exciting. But the point is we would GO! Get the heck outta Dodge! Bon Voyage! Hasta La Vista Baby!

Now we have a house. And two children. The house and the kids come with lots of responsibilities. And bills. Taking a three-day whirlwind trip conflicts with those responsibilities and bills.

So now we stay home. We clean the house. We work in the yard. And we run around doing all of those little things that we don’t have time to do in a normal five-day work week.

Oh, we may head over to a backyard BBQ. (Shout out to my sis and bro-in-law who make awesome ribs with all the fixins'.) But that’s about it. We have to be refreshed to start the week early Tuesday morning. Because we all know that a three-day weekend is followed by cramming five days of work at the office into four days.

But I still love three-day weekends. L-O-V-E! Even if they aren’t as fun-filled and action-packed as they used to be, I get to spend more quality time with my husband and girls. And sometimes, having no plans turns out to be the best plan of all!

Fantastic 40th

2010-05-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

I just turned 40 years old!

I was depressed for a year about my 30th b-day. But for some reason 40 is different. And I’m not just talking about the 20 lbs I’ve put on in the last 10 years.

I definitely have more confidence at 40 than I did at 30. Sometime in the last decade I developed an “I don’t care what you think about me…I’m just doing my thing” attitude. I’m living life the best I know how. I consider myself blessed to have a wonderful husband, two beautiful daughters, a fulfilling career, a lovely home and great friends.

My husband gave me a surprise “80s theme” party for my 40th. I graduated from high school in ’88, still listen to 80s music and love to watch old movies from that decade. Many of my friends showed up in 80s attire. It was HILARIOUS! My bro-in-law made 80s music CDs, my husband recorded hours of 80s music videos, and there is a ginormous copy of my senior picture that’s still hanging on my wall.

Also…my husband gave me the BEST GIFT EVER for my b-day. He knew that I’d freak out with a bunch of people at our dirty house. So, he hired two ladies to clean our house from top to bottom. Windows washed, bathtub scrubbed, oven cleaned, fridge wiped out, ceiling fans dusted… EVERYTHING! For a working mom who loves a tidy home but doesn’t have much time, this tops every other birthday present I have ever received.

Thanks Ryan!

Mommy Politics

2010-05-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

I finally finished reading Going Rogue by Sarah Palin.

For the record, I’m not 100% in-synch with former Governor Sarah Palin’s political philosophies. But that’s okay…I can appreciate and respect different points of view.

Love her or not, she’s an interesting study of a successful woman managing a family and career.

From the beginning, Sarah included her children in political campaigns. When she ran for City Council, she would go door to door pulling her young kids in a wagon. At City Council meetings, her baby would sit at her feet in the carrier.

Sarah’s children helped her campaign for Mayor, Lt. Governor and Governor. The children would go with their parents to public events all over the state. Sarah and her “First Dude” husband Todd loved Alaska, and wanted to share it with their children.

Ironically, several ethics complaints were filed against the Governor for inviting her family to travel with her on official state business. While I realize there must be a separation of personal and tax-funded expenses, I believe that working parents should be able to include their young children in the work place when appropriate… especially when extensive travel is required.

It was only natural that her children would participate in the 2008 presidential campaign when Sarah was on the ticket with John McCain. At the events, many people were more excited about meeting Sarah’s kids than the candidates.

Sarah talks about becoming a “Mama Grizzly” when the media and other politicos attacked her children during the presidential campaign. I’m sure Michelle Obama would have reacted in a similar fashion if her children had been unforgiving targets of the media. That’s how us moms roll…we protect our young.

The five Palin children aren’t perfect kids. Todd and Sarah Palin aren’t perfect parents. They are all dealing with real life issues…a son serving in the military during wartime, a teenage daughter who is a single mother, and a toddler son with Down syndrome.

The two Windley children aren’t perfect either. Ryan and I aren’t perfect parents. Our “real life” issues may not be as dramatic as the Palin’s, but we have our challenges. Who doesn’t? That’s life.

Throughout the book, Sarah turns to God for help with raising her children. I truly relate with Sarah in this regard. I can’t imagine not turning to my Father for guidance when it comes to family matters. Especially when I’m away from them 50+ hours each week…I say an extra prayer each day that my kids will be safe and well-cared for while we are apart.

Working moms…if you can find time in your crazy schedules, I recommend you read this book. You can skip over the battles with city hall and the big oil companies. Pay attention to the sections on how Sarah balances marriage, family and her career.

Final thought: we need more working moms in the political scene to represent our needs and interests.

Multi-Tasking Should Be An Olympic Sport

2010-05-18T20:06:00.000-07:00

I recently came upon this interesting statistic:

People classified as “Generation Y” can fit 44 hours of tasks into a single day.

I don’t want to take anything away from Gen Y, but I complete 44 hours of tasks long before the sun sets on a daily basis. I’m a multi-tasking working mom who proudly hails from Gen X.

At the office I’m checking voicemail, answering email, returning text messages, viewing website analytics, organizing files, and signing invoices all while taking notes during a webinar.

On my lunch break I’m driving the pre-school carpool, followed by the dry cleaner, pharmacy, post office, gas station, car wash, library, and/or sometimes the salon for a quick pedicure.

When I get home I’m making dinner, unloading the dishwasher, loading the clothes washer, listening to the playground politics report, and checking homework all at once.

(The other day I tried to “Tweet” on my Blackberry while walking on the treadmill. I found out that I’m not coordinated enough for that type of multi-tasking.)

There are only 24 hours in a day. If I’m going to sleep for at least six of those hours, I’ve got to make the other 18 hours count!

If multi-tasking ever becomes an Olympic sport, I’ll place my bets on the working moms in the race. The mom + career women I know are already training for the multi-tasking Olympics 24/7/365.

I’ve become so multi-tasking oriented that I have to remind myself that when it comes to family time, I really need to focus on my husband and our children. And nothing else. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

I keep thinking (hoping, wishing, dreaming) my life my will S-L-O-W down. I just must make it happen. With the lazy (?) days of summer before us, I’ve set a goal to spend more time dedicated 100% to my family.

I think that I’ll call it solo-tasking.

Who's The Boss?

2010-05-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

Nightly battle...getting the kids in the bath and ready for bed.

In tonight's episode my husband, shall we say, is "encouraging" the 8 year-old to get in the bath immediately. A argument ensues in which the 4 year-old intervenes in her sister's defense and declares:

"Dad...you are not the boss of us!"

I'm in the other room as a casual listener to the exchange...and bust out laughing!

The 4 year-old comes running in to find me so I put on my poker face and ask her:

"Jenna...who is the boss of you?"

***Giggle***Smile***

"You are Mom!"

Out of the mouths of babes...